Well my new friend Sally and I are going to have to call it quits. At least as far as any viable relationship further than friendship. Why? Well it could be that as she said I could only be as happy as I am unless I am a criminal...!! Yes let me Repeat that: "Nobody could be as happy as you are unless you have some criminal tendencies ...or are a criminal" As it turns out this lady believes that the only people in the world who have a jolly time of it are the { bad, evil, criminal, drugheads, alcoholics, OR any person who is just generally an asshole of some kind; pick your choice} Those like herself who are good, competent and try hard, and do what they are supposed to, as ordered by the order in place (what ever that may be) , these are the people have a hell of a time. They are run down, shit on, have bad luck in general, or just in the final analysis come up cheated, and tossed onto the trash heap of life.... if you can call it that. These people that are good are out there in their minority being ripped off, sued, blamed, victimized, falling ill of peculiar diseases and ailments, or just ending up in some ignominious death. NOW I will agree that those who challenged the status quo with revolutionary ideas, like jesus, budda, or halage (sp), that said things like "me and my beloved are one" or "God is within me", or such ideas of goodness that derived of the greater cosmic understanding of the bedrock reality is the spiritual, timeless, eternal unity of all beings and things,....Yes these people had a rough time of it. And they were killed yet they weren't unhappy. There is a difference. They lived of another source,.. a deeper reality and understanding than seems possible in all humans especially in the brainwashed world we live in at the present. But that is that. But this idea of justifying bitterness and wanting to get even, wanting their fair share because of their goodness......that is not the same thing. I just prefer not to feel like a vitim of the cruel and vicious world. If it get's that bad I will just kill my self and that will be that. period. I am not going to be sad and bemoan my choices to try to be good or help others.... I am going to keep seeing life is a miracle and enjoy it's splendor and wonder and when that goes away...... well so will I. NOW that doesn't mean I don't understand temporary unhappiness and sadness and difficult times of loss. I have had my share. But that has not lead me to the conclusion that the world is a shit hole of scratching and fighting, cruel people that will always do ya in, if they have the chance. I have cried and suffered just like everyone else and I don't feel I am better than her. But just because I don't cling to that same miserable idea of what the world is like that I must be criminal.... that is just too much. If she needs a shoulder to cry on I will be there but I won't let my mind get filled with that negative, ugly, philosophy.
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