I am deeply saddened that my best but longest posts continue to disappear

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN IT IS SO INFURIATING BECAUSE SINCE MUCH OF THESE TYPE POSTS; THE BEST OF POSTS, ARE STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS POSTS. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS JUST EVAPORATE INSTANTANEOUSLY. A FEW FLICKERS A PAGE OF "PAGE INACESSABLE" AND THAT IS IT AND I CANNOT FIND IT. AND THUS NEITHER CAN ANY READER.