deadsalive

a perverse male on male obsession that is of significant impact

2010-03-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

hello Big Balla B_don. um.... why did this take me by the tenders and inflame me in a way that dispenses ( that is without an enormous amount of self control. ) my self respect. beliefs. all to satisfy the meth charged passions of a guy that is fully grown and adapted to normal heterosexual sex. YYYet there is a catch. he catches a lot. he teased an itch to build in himself an insatiable hunger to invert the normal insemination to the female for reproduction...... to the point that the excitement of a gay man that he could cause made him primal, animalized, to burn in his penis and rectum for the sensation of the ejaculation of the stated gay fella. now im all wrapped up in it to the point that I find it a treat of treats to bring him to climax as often and pleasurably as i can. I would find my self completely comfortable satisfying his urges for long extended hours. such that i must run. he wants no emotional ties yet we both know that he and i are locked in a battle of getting what we can sexually for the least input so as to distract his guilt for having such uncontrollable urges to see the satisfaction and sexual release of a gay man to his sexual organs. he thinks hes hot and he is. the cycle goes on as he becomes all the more inflamed the more he strenghtens the sexual excitement of the partner . ( ME ) the he can take it no more and that fact brings him off again ang again. what can I do ???? comment please.

Nuclear Weapons - Israel

2009-07-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Nuclear Weapons - Israel: "FAS Nuke Guide Israel Search Join FAS"

Nuclear Weapons - Israel

2009-07-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

Nuclear Weapons - Israel: "Avner Cohen and William Burr, Israel Crosses the Thresshold, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, May/June 2006
Israel Crosses the Threshold, National Security Archive Electronic Briefing Book No. 189, April 28, 2006
Bibliography of Israeli Nuclear Science Publications by Mark Gorwitz, June 2005
Israeli Nuclear Forces, 2002, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, September/October 2002
The Bomb That Never Is by Avner Cohen, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, May/June 2000, Vol 56, No. 3 pp.22-23
Israel and the Bomb, a supporting repository on the National Security Archive web site for Avner Cohen's book Israel and the Bomb (Columbia University press, 1998), including declassified documents.
Obsessive secrecy undermines democracy By Reuven Pedatzur Ha'aretz. Tuesday, August 8, 2000 -- Cohen published"

Spring 2009 Virtual Conference Speakers and Topics

2009-07-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

Spring 2009 Virtual Conference Speakers and Topics: "From Atheism to Spirituality
From Tokyo, the President of the Edgar Cayce Center in Japan shares the story of his spiritual journey with the Cayce readings as he sought to discover his mission and purpose."

Subject search - CompList

2009-06-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

Subject search - CompList: "Page1"

2009-03-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

I think a lot of time has passed such that i can alert any and all readers if there are any. some folks may occasionally check up on me here and if they do they can at least note that Maverick is no longer an issue in my life. He has made it an unqualified effort to make certain I never hear from him again. So that takes care of that issue
Other areas of my life remain disasterously full. I have twice been arrested. I have legal fees and other costs in abundance where as my income has diminished. I feel that I might begin to write again and this note is evidence of the fact. I still have maintained 3 friends that I consider good friends. I hope I can hold on to these friends because i have come to learn that maintaining good friends is of paramount importance. Bill, Harley, and Tracey. I have other aquaintances but real friends are hard to find. And, if even 1 of these people remain in the category of REAL friends I will still be blessed.
Pray for me if you are out there and still consider yourself one of my friends. Even my stepchildren for whom I gave up a huge portion of my life, all 6 of them have abandoned me. I try to forget if i can. But, I won't because I still love them all very much and wonder how they are and what has become of them. If you are still out there you know this blog is hear. Send me a message. If you wish to call my # is 14798838743.

Egypt: Opening of the Mouth Ritual, A Feature Tour Egypt Story

2008-11-10T14:29:00.001-08:00

The effect of the ritual was to animate the recipient (or, in the case of a deceased individual, to re-animate it). The ritual allowed the mummy, statue, or temple, to eat, breathe, see, hear and enjoy the offerings and provisions performed by the priests and officiants, thus to sustain the ka.
. The Egyptian terms for the ceremony are wpt-r and wn-r, both translating literally to "opening of the mouth." The verb wpi denotes an opening that entails splitting, dividing or separating, and is used to describe the separation of two combatants, the dividing of time or even a determination of the truth. The verb wn emphasizes accessibility and exposure, used in contexts such as wn-hr, literally "open the face", but more correctly meaning "see" or "be seen".

Egypt: Opening of the Mouth Ritual, A Feature Tour Egypt Story

cosmic view

2008-11-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

width="320" height="320" border="0"
alt="View from Iridium 77" />

dmoz

2008-11-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

» Alan Watts - Notes from the Psychedelic Salon

2008-09-29T11:38:00.001-07:00

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» Alan Watts - Notes from the Psychedelic Salon

American Meltdown

2008-09-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

A shattering moment in America's fall from powerThe global financial crisis will see the US falter in the same way the Soviet Union did when the Berlin Wall came down. The era of American dominance is overAll comments (437)
John Gray The Observer, Sunday September 28 2008 Article historyOur gaze might be on the markets melting down, but the upheaval we are experiencing is more than a financial crisis, however large. Here is a historic geopolitical shift, in which the balance of power in the world is being altered irrevocably. The era of American global leadership, reaching back to the Second World War, is over.

You can see it in the way America's dominion has slipped away in its own backyard, with Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez taunting and ridiculing the superpower with impunity. Yet the setback of America's standing at the global level is even more striking. With the nationalisation of crucial parts of the financial system, the American free-market creed has self-destructed while countries that retained overall control of markets have been vindicated. In a change as far-reaching in its implications as the fall of the Soviet Union, an entire model of government and the economy has collapsed.

Ever since the end of the Cold War, successive American administrations have lectured other countries on the necessity of sound finance. Indonesia, Thailand, Argentina and several African states endured severe cuts in spending and deep recessions as the price of aid from the International Monetary Fund, which enforced the American orthodoxy. China in particular was hectored relentlessly on the weakness of its banking system. But China's success has been based on its consistent contempt for Western advice and it is not Chinese banks that are currently going bust. How symbolic yesterday that Chinese astronauts take a spacewalk while the US Treasury Secretary is on his knees.

Despite incessantly urging other countries to adopt its way of doing business, America has always had one economic policy for itself and another for the rest of the world. Throughout the years in which the US was punishing countries that departed from fiscal prudence, it was borrowing on a colossal scale to finance tax cuts and fund its over-stretched military commitments. Now, with federal finances critically dependent on continuing large inflows of foreign capital, it will be the countries that spurned the American model of capitalism that will shape America's economic future.

Which version of the bail out of American financial institutions cobbled up by Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson and Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke is finally adopted is less important than what the bail out means for America's position in the world. The populist rant about greedy banks that is being loudly ventilated in Congress is a distraction from the true causes of the crisis. The dire condition of America's financial markets is the result of American banks operating in a free-for-all environment that these same American legislators created. It is America's political class that, by embracing the dangerously simplistic ideology of deregulation, has responsibility for the present mess.

In present circumstances, an unprecedented expansion of government is the only means of averting a market catastrophe. The consequence, however, will be that America will be even more starkly dependent on the world's new rising powers. The federal government is racking up even larger borrowings, which its creditors may rightly fear will never be repaid. It may well be tempted to inflate these debts away in a surge of inflation that would leave foreign investors with hefty losses. In these circumstances, will the governments of countries that buy large quantities of American bonds, China, the Gulf States and Russia, for example, be ready to continue supporting the dollar's role as the world's reserve currency? Or will these countries see this as an opportunity to tilt the balance of economic power further in their favour? Either way, the control of events is no longer in American hands.

The fate of empires is very often sealed by the interaction of war and debt. That was true of the British Empire, whose finances deteriorated from the First World War onwards, and of the Soviet Union. Defeat in Afghanistan and the economic burden of trying to respond to Reagan's technically flawed but politically extremely effective Star Wars programme were vital factors in triggering the Soviet collapse. Despite its insistent exceptionalism, America is no different. The Iraq War and the credit bubble have fatally undermined America's economic primacy. The US will continue to be the world's largest economy for a while longer, but it will be the new rising powers that, once the crisis is over, buy up what remains intact in the wreckage of America's financial system.

There has been a good deal of talk in recent weeks about imminent economic armageddon. In fact, this is far from being the end of capitalism. The frantic scrambling that is going on in Washington marks the passing of only one type of capitalism - the peculiar and highly unstable variety that has existed in America over the last 20 years. This experiment in financial laissez-faire has imploded.While the impact of the collapse will be felt everywhere, the market economies that resisted American-style deregulation will best weather the storm. Britain, which has turned itself into a gigantic hedge fund, but of a kind that lacks the ability to profit from a downturn, is likely to be especially badly hit.

The irony of the post-Cold War period is that the fall of communism was followed by the rise of another utopian ideology. In American and Britain, and to a lesser extent other Western countries, a type of market fundamentalism became the guiding philosophy. The collapse of American power that is underway is the predictable upshot. Like the Soviet collapse, it will have large geopolitical repercussions. An enfeebled economy cannot support America's over-extended military commitments for much longer. Retrenchment is inevitable and it is unlikely to be gradual or well planned.

Meltdowns on the scale we are seeing are not slow-motion events. They are swift and chaotic, with rapidly spreading side-effects. Consider Iraq. The success of the surge, which has been achieved by bribing the Sunnis, while acquiescing in ongoing ethnic cleansing, has produced a condition of relative peace in parts of the country. How long will this last, given that America's current level of expenditure on the war can no longer be sustained?

An American retreat from Iraq will leave Iran the regional victor. How will Saudi Arabia respond? Will military action to forestall Iran acquiring nuclear weapons be less or more likely? China's rulers have so far been silent during the unfolding crisis. Will America's weakness embolden them to assert China's power or will China continue its cautious policy of 'peaceful rise'? At present, none of these questions can be answered with any confidence. What is evident is that power is leaking from the US at an accelerating rate. Georgia showed Russia redrawing the geopolitical map, with America an impotent spectator.

Outside the US, most people have long accepted that the development of new economies that goes with globalisation will undermine America's central position in the world. They imagined that this would be a change in America's comparative standing, taking place incrementally over several decades or generations. Today, that looks an increasingly unrealistic assumption.

Having created the conditions that produced history's biggest bubble, America's political leaders appear unable to grasp the magnitude of the dangers the country now faces. Mired in their rancorous culture wars and squabbling among themselves, they seem oblivious to the fact that American global leadership is fast ebbing away. A new world is coming into being almost unnoticed, where America is only one of several great powers, facing an uncertain future it can no longer shape.

• John Gray is the author of Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia (Allen Lane)

STRAIGHT BOY ... GOOD SPORT.

2008-09-22T01:27:00.000-07:00

Guess what..... I got laid about 10 days ago! Well, sort of. It was fun for what I'm used to which is usually nothing. I won't mention any names cause he's straight. I know that sounds like an oxymoron or a conflict of definition in terms, but It's more frequent than you would imagine. He is 20 about 6'2" about 170, very thin. extrordinarily excitable. So much so, that that's the less than fun part. I was nervous and had to do most of the work and he was to eager for me to keep up with. So its not like I got to savor the experience. But usually straight guys don't want it to be very memorable. After that he couldn't think of an excuse fast enough to not want to ever talk to me again. I was pretty sure before it happened that I would pretty much be giving up the friendship. So I was prepared for anything. If things had been different I would have been willing to take care of him... thats the only part that smarts a little. I did care. Given a couple of days, however, I managed to do something mildly annoying enough to give him an excuse to blow up and yell, "You did this!" You did this!! " So in a way I guess I sure did!! If he wanted to be that big an asshole I suppose I dont feel so bad about disturbing his mental balance.... which, I'm certain now, that I did. Being Straight I suppose I should be grateful. Not many 47 year olds get to sample up 20 year old tail!!let alone STRAIGHT!!!!! I won't go into the gory details about how I can know he's straight but there are ways to know. And I do. Had all the hallmarks of the kind of guy who gets himself into such situations..."Damn it what was I thinking?" ha ha ha. Well I know exactly what I was thinking.... As for him bet I can guess. But that's enough of that for now. Don't worry if your out there guy. I'll never tell a soul even if you did act an ASS!! Besides not enough people read my blog. And if you're wondering... despite the selfishness you displayed, it was all good for me... even better latter on in the week.

Intersting article about plants and ecosystem health

2008-09-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

Posted by David Pescovitz, September 19, 2008 10:47 AM | permalink
When plants are stressed out, they generate aspirin-like chemicals. The aspirin isn't used to reduce headaches, primarily because plants don't have heads. Scientists from the National Center for Atmospheric Research detected significant quantities of methyl salicyate, a chemical form of aspirin, above a forest canopy. The capability of plants to emit the chemical had been known previously but only observed in a laboratory setting. From a press release:
(Lead researcher Thomas) Karl and his colleagues speculate that the methyl salicylate has two functions. One of these is to stimulate plants to begin a process known as systemic acquired resistance, which is analogous to an immune response in an animal. This helps a plant to both resist and recover from disease.

The methyl salicylate also may be a mechanism whereby a stressed plant communicates to neighboring plants, warning them of the threat. Researchers in laboratories have demonstrated that a plant may build up its defenses if it is linked in some way to another plant that is emitting the chemical. Now that the NCAR team has demonstrated that methyl salicylate can build up in the atmosphere above a stressed forest, scientists are speculating that plants may use the chemical to activate an ecosystem-wide immune response...

The discovery raises the possibility that farmers, forest managers, and others may eventually be able to start monitoring plants for early signs of a disease, an insect infestation, or other types of stress. At present, they often do not know if an ecosystem is unhealthy until there are visible indicators, such as dead leaves.

"A chemical signal is a very sensitive way to detect plant stress, and it can be an order of magnitude more effective than using visual inspections," Karl says.
"Plants in Forest Emit Aspirin Chemical to Deal with Stress" (UCAR)

SEARCH ENGINE FOR DEADSALIVE

2008-09-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

Below is a website search engine for my own site for searchers to search my site.

2008-09-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

2008-07-30T07:27:00.001-07:00

Who links to me?

the connection of letting go and its requirements

2008-07-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

I have finally figured out how to process this Maverick unfinished business in my head thing. Its all been validated by his need to do the same thing I am doing. To go on with life in any form we had to leave one another behind. He could not go forward with me. I was way to much of an issue. That importance has been given to the fact that he had to forget me to get on with his life shows me that my impact was indeed huge. We cannot communicate and without impacting one another. So to act to decide a path in life he had to get rid of my influence. To keep my influence in his life while he is trying out a new path and building the kind of life he wants to try out for himself would be like me standing in the room he needs to navegate his path. I would be a massive and blinding distraction. He could no more concentrate on having a family with me as a friend than he could walk on water. So, indeed what this was was a break up. He and I broke up. What was not discussed,... the elephant in the room.... was not imaginary just because we didn't discuss it. It was all too real. And he knew that to proceed, was to do so without my influence, in any form. just because we didn't have sex didn't mean we weren't lovers. This is what consoles me and gives meaning to the whole 2 year dance we did together. I know he loves me. And for me to socialize with he and his new girlfriend would be as awkward as if he were to invite his previous girlfriend April over to visit with them. He tried to do this stunt with Kim but he couldn't accept losing me yet. Now he has grown ready and I am proud and happy for him. Because now I know my existence in his life was not without meaning. Indeed there was a great deal of meaning,.... far too much for him to begin a family with. I cannot have contact with him to begin to live again. For him it is no different, to chose a family and take a wife, he cannot have contact with me. This is not just interpretive consolation. It is in fact a reality that I have to allow myself to realize the amazing impact that I did have and can have on another human being. Yes I am holding back. I impress others. And now I know.... I really can have the things I want. This is what I have learned. This is part of the new growth and strength I reveal to myself that ... by god this boy loved me and to grow in this world the way he wants to unfold himself he has to leave me. I feel no regret.... I cannot blame him for a single thing. We did this together, and we parted........ together. I wish him all the happiness in this world. I will always be standing behind him whether he realizes it or not. He always has me. Yet I lose nothing in being there for him. We both decided to push away to grow. All so beautiful because it was done almost entirely with out needing to say a word. I finally have the connection with him I had at the very beginning. It was never gone. Just transformed.

On Truth and Reality: Philosophy Physics Metaphysics of Space, Wave Structure Matter. Famous Science Art Quotes

2008-07-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

On Truth and Reality: Philosophy Physics Metaphysics of Space, Wave Structure Matter. Famous Science Art Quotes: "http://www.spaceandmotion.com/"

describe it and finalize it. But there was something that I just cant leave alone. WHY?

2008-07-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

I met Maverick in july of 2006 at a party for a friend of mine who I bonded out of jail. Maverick was outside by my car and he said " hey you know what? I like you" and I said do you know who your talking to? because I'm gay and that sounds a little like a come on. He said no that's not what he meant but that he found me interesting and wanted to get to know me. Fine. And so the odyssey began. After a few days we were spending every spare minute together and I consequently fell in love. He was 19 I was 45 and he was incredibly good looking and had a deep expressive heart that he was bursting inside to let someone know him for real. But when I told him I was falling in love he immediately backed away and his words "I've never gotten so close to anybody so fast in my life and I need to slow this down and back away." I understood but his fascination with me kept it so that no matter what happened we always came back to one another. He broke up with his girlfriend and stayed in a state of limbo for 2 years during which time I found myself very emotionally invested in this relationship. We never had sex and I was to afraid of losing him to ever push the issue. although he multiple times saw to it that we were in situations where it could have easily happened. I never made that first move. I almost felt it would be unethical to do so. But the bond that we shared those initial 2 or 3 weeks was so unbelievable that when he got scared and broke it off. I almost lost it. It wasn't just a gay guy falling for a straight guy. There was a bond there that seemed to be cut of by his choice and though we reestablished a good friendship it was never what it was or what it seemed it could have been. Now he is gone and I feel like I have spent a huge chunk of my life trying to have that special something back that never seemed to come back. Now he is with a girl has changed his life he is going to be a father. She is pregnant and I know that no matter how much I wanted it to turn out differently it didn't. He voluntarily opened up so much of himself to me emotionally that I felt crushed when he, afraid as he was of what he may have felt, kept a distance and now I cant have him no matter how much I want to I have to go another way. But I was virtually celibate when I met him so not a lot has changed and before him I had a full life. What I regret is not ever finding a way to make that closeness that I know we both knew was there, make it into what it could have been. Maybe it never could have been. But for lack of trying I will never know. Will I ever meet anyone like that again. Really I think at this point in my life I will make the love of my life knowledge and the pursuit of truth. I am an intellectual by nature and this is something I can throw myself into. Tomorrow is Mavericks 21st birthday and he has really grown up and I miss him so much it hurts. But I know all men and all women of all times have suffered great loss and endured great pain and I know in this world I am in good company of hurt people. we've all been hurt somehow someway. I just need to channel all of this pent up desire and need for a real partner into some other channel. I think now I don't want to try for something again. In this life it was he that was meant for me and now that I can't have him, then my life has to center around other pursuits and interests. Writing this down helps me get this out of my system. I will always miss him and he can never be an ordinary friend. So I have said my goodbyes and he is on a path and I am on another. I am on a lonelier path but it is a path of new discovery for I always wish to learn. Experience and learning are what I was put on this planet for........ and for Maverick.... but with that lost my lover is knowledge and learning new things and having new experiences. I have some good friends and I know I will make it and I will push even harder with this sublimation of my energies into these new pathways.
But oh how much I wish I could have shared it with this one special shinning star. Maverick Wayne Kissler I will always love you till the day I die and I don't believe anyone can ever take your place. So onward and upward. LIVE! and LIVE fully. Now maybe I am ready to write that book I have always wanted to write. Goodbye what should have been. Hello to a new and open start.

TRANSFORMATION

2008-07-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

TODAY I AM ASTONISHED BY A SERIES OF EVENTS STARTING ONLY A FEW DAYS AGO. BUT FATE WOULD HAVE IT SUCH THAT I FEEL ALONE IN THIS CRUEL WORLD LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEFORE. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I CAN PROCESS IT. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME I FEEL BITTER, ANGRY AND CONFUSED. MAINLY I FEEL USED AND STEPED ON. I DONT HAVE THE SAME OUTLOOK I DID JUST A FEW DAYS AGO. EVEN MY BEST FRIEND HAS SHOWN ME HOW LITTLE MY FEELINGS COUNT AND I AM ALONE I WILL DEAL WITH THIS MYSELF IN MY OWN WAY. WHATEVER THAT TURNS OUT TO BE. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. I HAVE LOST FAITH IN THE UNIVERSE. IT SEEMS I WILL HAVE TO FIGHT TO SURVIVE AND MORE THAN LIKELY I WILL JUST TURN MYSELF AWAY FROM EVERYBODY. I AM SUSPICIOUS AND TERRIFIED. TEARS ARE ALWAYS CLOSE TO FALLING FROM MY EYES. I HAVE LOST SOMETHING AND NOBODY REALIZES THAT I AM SUFFERING AND NO ONE SHOWS THE KINDNESS THAT I NEED. ONLY MY PARENTS ARE REALLY THERE FOR ME. EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE THINGS I CANT TALK ABOUT WITH THEM, I KNOW THAT I AM UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED BY THEM AND THEY ARE VERY OLD. I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG I WILL HAVE THEM AROUND FOR SUPPORT AND GUIDANCE FROM THIS AWFUL WORLD. I AM RESOLUTE THAT I WILL FIND MY OWN WAY AND ONLY THROUGH MYSELF WILL I REALIZE WHAT I HAVE TO HAVE FOR ME AND ME ALONE. WILL I BE SELFISH? YOU BET. I HAVE TO TURN THIS ANGER INTO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ME AND ME ALONE. I HAVE BEEN RIPPED OFF MY FRIENDS ( OR WHAT I THOUGHT WERE FRIENDS) BUT THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING BEHIND MY BACK TO GET THEMSELVES WHAT THEY WANT WHY SHOULDNT I DO LIKEWISE. I HAVE ME. AND THAT IS ENOUGH. I CAN MAKE MY LIFE MEAN SOMETHING WITHOUT ALL THESE PRETENDERS WANTING MY CASH AND MY VEHICLE AND ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF THE COMFORTABLE LIFE MY PARENTS HAVE AFFORDED ME TO HAVE. IT IS MINE. I WILL SURVIVE AND I WILL BE STRONGER. I MUST SAY I HAVE LOST A LOT OF FAITH IN OTHER HUMAN BEINGS. MOST ACT AS ANIMALS AND ARE VICIOUS SELFISH AND SEEM TO HAVE NO FEELING. BUT I HAVE TO GRIEVE AND PROCESS ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT INTO SOMETHING CREATIVE AND NEW. I HAVE CHANGED. I DONT KNOW FOR SURE WHAT THIS NEW ME WILL BE LIKE BUT I AM READY TO TRY IT OUT. SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION. BUT A REAL CHANGE IN BEING IS MEANT TO OCCUR AND CIRCUMSTANCES ARE FORCING ME TO ALLOW A NEW EMERGENCE OF SELF. TRANSFORMED BY LOSS AND REJECTION.

2008-06-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have to leave a monument to what was and what could have been. I am so full of emotion and confusion now that no one I know could begin to understand. Back in July of 2006 I met a young 19 year old guy named Maverick Kissler. I've never gotten so close to anyone so fast in my life and I know he felt the same way because that quote is actually from him. But it ended quickly because he was so frightened by what was happening. He kept running from me and repeatedly coming back. But I know he is not coming back now and this is what has me so distraught. I feel as though I have thrown away the only thing that I ever really thought I was living for. He's gone and I have to greive the loss. He is not dead. He has a new girl and she is the one and he will be with her for who knows how long because she will be the mother of his child. No one can really relate because few people realize how much time we spent together. Much of it was secret and now this love from a distance, this crazy dance we did is over and I feel I didn't really try hard enough. This was the very thing I wanted and I never fought for it. I was afraid to push him into something he wasn't sure he wanted. He has his whole life to go and I am 46. I feel like I had what I wanted in my hands. He waited on me to lead and I didnt. Now I have to deal on what could have been and also realize he isn't coming back for me. He is through waiting on me. He is doing what he is supposed to do and I hope he is happy. If he really is happy then that is what should be. But if not and he is following a prescribed expected role then I failed in my message and I failed at getting the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Somehow I thought we after a time would fall into what was intended naturally. Because it is for certain we spent many awkward moments alone in the dark and I was so afraid I might lose him I never tried to show him how much I loved him. Oh I told him I loved him and why and how much. But I never did what he always tried to get me to see... don't talk about it, just do what you feel like doing. For all practical purposes of finding true fulfillment in a relationship I believe my life is over. Too little too late and I feel empty. One thing that subconsciously I was holding on to is no longer an option. That he would come back. He always did. The connection we made those first few days we met was so deep and so clean and clear and natural that I know I will never find that again anywhere. The future is so unclear because I am tired and tired of trying. Everything else now is but cardboard and insipid tasteless nothing. I don't know how I will ever pick up where I left off. I was so strong. I now feel so weak so hopeless I don't know whether I really want to live anymore. What for ? I made him laugh and I made him think and I wanted him for myself. I am not jealous of the girl that he is with. She can not be blamed. I am left with just myself and luckily I have friends. But I am alone in my pain. Maverick was meant for me and I didn't leap when the chance was facing me clear and open to have what I wanted. I was afraid. What a terrible and painful confession. How life proceeds post Maverick I do not know but I need to be watched by those who care. I am good at concealing from myself as well as others what I might do, and what I might do scares me more than I've ever been scared in my life. I really feel like I am done with life. What will allow me to allow myself to revive? I don't know that it will ever happen. I just can't see a future without him. So ............... chances are large that some accident will claim my life. I won't really intend it but it will take place of its own accord. Why did I meet him? Why did I have to go through this? Is this supposed to make me stronger? I feel like I've already been cut off from my oxygen supply. Disease and fatal destinies seem to be welcome to me. I want to rest the soft deep rest of death.

Summation of month of june on june 29

2008-06-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

Although it seems like a great deal of time has passed since I last wrote anything to my blog,... not so. Only a month has gone by. But, what a month. I can't say I have been completely clean from the Big M but I have grown and learned a great deal. I have released myself fron the insanity of my obsession for Maverick and said my goodbyes. He has moved on to what I hope is a proper and happy path for himself. I truely hope that he will be happy with this new girlfriend of his but in my mind somewhere something tells me that he will be back. For what reason it is a certainty is only for greater powers to understand. He was the love of my life and the greiveing process is still not completely over but I will go on and I will be just fine and stronger and even more wise and driven to do all the things I believe I am meant to do. I feel like that now I am all the more ready to write to give an account of living to others that will inspire them to really change their lives and show them that experience is a fantastic tool and that chance is not an enemy in an inchanted world. I have to pay my respects also to a fallen companion on the road of life. Steven Kohlman was once a friend of mine but he purposely decieved and robbed me. He took advantage of my generosity and stole from me when really all he had to do was ask. I did help him out but then he stole from me in the face of the generosity I showed to him. It is sad to lose a friend. He is lost to that world of stealing and robbing. Dog eat Dog. Win at all expense. He will find that I was a great expenditure. No I take that back. He will probably never notice what he has lost. He will just keep fighting and fighting at the forces of the world until he is pulled under, lost in the currents and violent whirlpools of dark and unforgiving pain and loss. He will probably never know why things just never seem to work out for him. And I feel sad that he is gone. I have taken the step of filing for my disability so that I can recieve a monthly check from the Federal Government stating that I am crazy. I believe that I am crazy in many respects. at least such that the principles that I live by will never allow me to work in the world as we know it economically. I can never succeed in a system that requires one to shed their principles of life at the door of the institution one must become a part of to be gainfully employed in international global economy as we know it today. So paper is flying in many directions to acheive that end. I am however blessed in many respects I have wonderful parents who have never abandoned me to this day no matter what I have put them through. I have good friends who I know I can depend on and can go to if things get rough in life. I have lived a life of the seeker and have worked to find truth in all my endevors as best as I can despite my weaknesses and frailties as a human being. I have loved. I have lost. I have experienced a fantastic bloom of variety throughout my life and I hope soon I will have the energy and the inspiration to start the book I want to write. That the muses will come and give me that spark of mystical enlightenment that will show me what I have to offer the world. I know I have much to offer. But it must be true and valid. I will not offer up tripe for new age hooey blooey to reach a small mass audience for fun and profit. I believe as i reach a zenith of personal strenght I will soon be ready for that outflowing of experience to paper that will show others that good is out there. that all things work together for the good of all men evil and good in the end. and that happiness and peace is ultimately the final outcome for all spiritual creatures no matter how far they stray in this life. For example even Steven Kohlman will be enlightened and happy in the end someday. In some life maybe not this one he will find true happiness and peace. All people need love. the more love you give out the more there is. It is an inexhaustible commodity if there were enough people who believed they wont run out. Love bareth all things suffers all things . Not a bad month all in all. I am still working at C & C Market Research and I they are very very good to me and understand my disabilities and work with me accordingly. The job is very flexible and is perfect for a person like myself. God speed.

2008-05-04T13:44:00.000-07:00

2008-03-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

THE DIAPHANOUS DEVIL
At the age of ten everything was cosmic play, innocence,.....Every door was open. Everything was there for new experience. The earth was a mystic playground, and every instant was recess. the shadows that seemed so full and crisp on a cold sunny morning accompanied me on my bicycle, and played almost independently on any object I passed. Every smell marked a new curiosity, every challange was met with glee. I ignored evil, but I was wary. It sulked in the hearts of the unhappy, those children whose lives were already taken from them. Those who were already the living dead. They had faces like everyone else, but they had broken hearts, human hearts who believed in defect. The relays of their minds were already blistered by the worries of the adults, the adults in chains. In innocence everything is possible, and failure only brings new challenge. For failure is a capricious friend. Soon all of us were taught to seek effeciency at the expense of curiosity, novelty, and wonder. "Grow up, Sit correctly! Follow the rules! Don't color outside the lines! You must learn for survival because the world is not free!" The beautiful and strong will prosper at the expense of the weak and ugly and different. "You, Strong, don't look back! there is no time. You weak, follow the strong; they are your example." Where this separation of people came from I never knew. I knew, however that limit became known. Level playing fields would be pretended, but still the strong would win. Why we had to play the game of weak and strong I did not know. Why we had to measure I did not know. but, I knew it was a lie and a trick. I know that within each living soul exists a universe. The lie has tricked us into closing our eyes to that unlimited potential. For we are all children of the universe. Everything is sacred and holy. Death is our friend,and fear is the opposite of love. Defy your barriers love intensely and never fear. Part of the deceptive illusion is the value invested within the material world. It is from subtlety where power emerges. Mulitlinear physics is virtually unknown. It is an uncharted territory where infinities of multiform microenvironments are constantly in creative flux, but are not observable. Only by isolation can things be observed. ( or focused upon) In isolation change has already implicitly converted the object of observation into a wholly different creature. Measurements can not be made except in special environments, and, then, they are only relevant to that exclusive environment. But, it is from this sort of measurement that all proclamations of "scarcity" arise. There is no scarcity. Buckminster Fuller said that this truth frightens the present politico-megaindustrial complex to it's very knees. Because it is only by the massively propagated myth that there is a scarcity of life sustaining commodities that they can continue to bilk the whole mass of humanity of their money and resources. It is this illusion of the present psychogenically projected earth reality that creates limits. ( remember, in a limitless universe even an ideomorph such as limit has to be, paradoxically, possible also) Since there is no real belief in a counterpart of what is, (exists) and since counterparting is the device upon which the illusion is predicated, it appears that limitations do, in fact, exist. The divisiveness of separating and measuring is the scientific process whereby we retrieve our data about the universe. So naturally it follows that we should expect our vision to be "part" oriented rather than whole oriented. Concepts of life and death birthed out of the concept of time is in itself a measurment that precludes infinity not to exist. If infinity does not exist then time can stop. this is equivalent to the supposed 2nd law of thermodynamics. this law is apparent only by defining the transmutation and translation of energy in and out of its various forms as diffusion in the sense of diminishment and loss. Therefore the apparent reality of death brings a gargantuan conflict of interest to the study of our world. We are still in platos cave and the shadows are the physical. All of humanity is knelt in awe of the vast interreciprocitous ideocomplex which constantly remains immeasurable, infinite, and intangible. It escapes our supercolliders but it makes them possible. It is nothing but and assumption coupled with the idea of death that leads us to conclude that our physical sensory interaction with the palpable, smellable, touchable world must take preeminence in the process of valuation of experience.

The Diaphanous Devil

2008-02-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

At the age of ten everything was cosmic play, innocence,... Every door was open. Everything was there for new experience. the earth waas a mystic playground, and every instant was recess. the shadows that seemed so full and amazing, so crisp on a cold sunny morning accompanied me on my bicycle, and played almost independently on any object I passed.....For more of this little essay see this blog http://lovefearhillary.blogspot.com/

2008-01-03T18:45:00.000-08:00

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Site Introduction (Dec.07): The above pages show you how to deduce Reality for yourself and confirm it is true.There are just two steps, founded on logical empirical rules of Science - no opinions (and apologies for the abruptness!)i) Apply Occam's Razor to deduce the most Simple Science Theory of Reality - the Wave Structure of Matter in Space.ii) Show the Wave Structure of Matter (WSM) correctly deduces fundamentals of Metaphysics, Physics & Philosophy.In hindsight the error was obvious - to try and describe an interconnected reality from the foundation of many discrete and separate things, matter 'particles' - rather than from the one thing that all matter exists in, Space (everyone experiences existing in Space, just look around you and think about it).I realise that there are a lot of 'crackpot' theories about truth and reality on the internet, but this solution is the most simple one, it works perfectly (see video) and it is obvious once known (though it does take a while for our minds to adjust to new knowledge).It shows that Science does work - despite the postmodern view that this is impossible. Physical reality (what we really are as humans) is obviously important, being the source of all truth and wisdom. Please help our world (human society / life on earth) by supporting an open honest (simple, sensible, logical) discussion of truth & reality.For those who are religious / spiritual, well if you prefer you can consider space as God (Brahman, Tao, Spirit, Energy). What is certain is that discrete and separate 'particles' do not exist - we are all connected to this one thing that exists - which is vibrating / oscillating. Whether Space has further properties than a wave medium - we don't know. It is possible, as the Wave Structure of Matter is yet to explain things relating to our human emotions and moral sense (it does explain matter interactions in space perfectly though - see links at the top of this page).Understanding this underlying unity of reality is now critically important to humanity. Any thoughtful person must realise that our world is in great trouble, that we are heading rapidly towards self destruction due to human overpopulation and the resultant destruction of Nature, climate change and the pollution of air, land and water (contaminating everything we consume).Clearly the best solution to these problems is to found our societies on truth and reality rather than past myths and customs (which invariably cause harm, our past and present global conflicts confirm this).Support an open honest (sensible logical) science discussion of Truth & Reality (anchor link to help section lower on this page).We have tried to make a simple and easy help section (on every page) where you can support this research and ensure that it is known by the world (and you will find good quality websites / knowledge resources in the process).We are now listed as the Top Philosophy Website on the Internet with around 500,000 page views each week, and rank in the top 20 in Google for most academic search terms - so we just need a bit of help to get in the top ten. Given the Censorship in Physics / Philosophy of Science Journals (founded on the standard model / particle physics) the internet is clearly the best way to get new knowledge visible to the world.And I cannot help but think that the future of humanity will be decided by this.Sincerely,Geoff Haselhurst - Karene Howie - Read the Full Introduction - Email - Nice letters we receiveIn a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act. (George Orwell)You must be the change you wish to see in the world. (Mohandas Gandhi)All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)Hell is Truth Seen Too Late. (Thomas Hobbes)
Metaphysics & Physical Reality
Metaphysics SolvesProblems of Science
One and the ManyDynamic Unity of Reality
Aristotle MetaphysicsSubstance & Properties
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David Hume MetaphysicsNecessary Connection
Immanuel Kant MetaphysicsSynthetic a priori Knowledge
Albert EinsteinField Theory of Matter
Metaphysics of SkepticismSkeptical / Skeptics Quotes
Hi Everyone (June, 2007)I have just finished re-writing this page. The essay on metaphysics is as short and simple as I can write it.It is important because it shows us how to solve the problems of metaphysics (thus also physics and philosophy) by understanding how matter exists and moves about in Space in a necessarily interconnected way.
The page is a bit long because I have also included a short 'Definitions of Metaphysics' which is useful, and this is followed by some great metaphysics quotes from Aristotle, Gottfried Leibniz, David Hume, Immanuel Kant and Albert Einstein.Hope you find it useful.Geoff Haselhurst
PS - I have also just finished re-writing the main philosophy page. It relates very well with this page (and it will hopefully amuse you while also explaining some profound truths about physical reality). I think you will get great benefit from reading it (it is the result of 15 years study of 3,500 years of knowledge - and it is short / concise).
What is Metaphysics / What is the Problem?
(Bradley, 1846-1924) We may agree, perhaps, to understand by Metaphysics an attempt to know reality as against mere appearance, or the study of first principles or ultimate truths, or again the effort to comprehend the universe, not simply piecemeal or by fragments, but somehow as a whole.
Drop a ball. Notice that you do not see any obvious connection between the ball and the earth - yet they are obviously connected because we see the effect of this connection, the ball moves (accelerates) towards the earth. The same argument applies to the Earth orbiting the sun, an electron in an atom, how we can see stars across the universe. We give these connections names, e.g. light and gravity, but no one knew what these hidden causal connections were.
So you see the problem of metaphysics is simple and profound - to solve it requires true knowledge of physical reality, such that we could understand this hidden causal connection that our senses tell us must exist, yet we do not see?This is known to philosophers as Hume's Problem of Causation and Necessary Connection, but really it is common knowledge that dates back to the ancients - the Problem of the One and the Many.
It must certainly be allowed, that nature has kept us at a great distance from all her secrets, and has afforded us only the knowledge of a few superficial qualities of objects; while she conceals from us those powers and principles on which the influence of those objects entirely depends. (Hume, 1737)
When we look about us towards external objects, and consider the operation of causes, we are never able, in a single instance, to discover any power or necessary connexion; any quality, which binds the effect to the cause, and renders the one an infallible consequence of the other. (Hume, 1737)
The Simple Solution to the Problem of Metaphysics
Aristotle was correct in his analysis, and does actually lead us to the solution;
The first philosophy (Metaphysics) is universal and is exclusively concerned with primary substance. ... And here we will have the science to study that which is just as that which is, both in its essence and in the properties which, just as a thing that is, it has.The entire preoccupation of the physicist is with things that contain within themselves a principle of movement and rest. And to seek for this is to seek for the second kind of principle, that from which comes the beginning of the change. (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
Surprisingly, after such a long period of failure to solve this problem we find that we can actually deduce the solution.
We just had to ask; What is the Most Simple Science Theory of Reality?
i.e. To solve the problem of metaphysics you must describe reality in terms of one Substance and its Properties - and this is necessarily the most simple solution.Significantly we can deduce that there is only one solution, a wave structure of matter in Space - where space is a substance with the properties of a continuously connected wave medium (thus explaining Aristotle's property of activity / motion as being caused by the wave motion of Space).
And hopefully it is now more clear to you this profundity of metaphysics - being central to: simplicity, unity, reality, necessary connection, causation, logic, knowledge, certainty, senses, science and truth.
The articles at the top of the page show how the Wave Structure of Matter (by explaining matter's necessarily interconnected motion in space) solves numerous problems of knowledge found in postmodern Metaphysics, Physics and Philosophy (and there are many problems that are caused by the discrete and separate 'particle' conception of matter!)
New Age (Postmodern) Metaphysical Spiritualism Vs. Classical Metaphysics
I like spiritual people, they are generally kind and cheerful. I think a wise understanding of spiritualism is really just the enlightened view that our discrete and separate bodies are an illusion (as Albert Einstein realised), that we are really structures of the universe and connected to everything around us.
A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty… The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. … We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive. (Albert Einstein, 1954)
So I am not writing to offend you when I also say that there is a postmodern 'new age' metaphysics that twists the meaning of metaphysics in a dangerous way, as it says that metaphysics, is 'beyond' our senses (and thus not limited by them).This distinction is very important. If we allow our human imaginations free reign, without being constrained by the truth of our senses, then we will invariably deceive ourselves by imagining fanciful things (and this self deception causes us / our society harm - this is the foundation of Philosophy, that we must know the truth to act wisely and avoid harm).
By his clear critique Hume did not only advance philosophy in a decisive way but also - though through no fault of his - created a danger for philosophy in that, following his critique, a fateful 'fear of metaphysics' arose which has come to be a malady of contemporary empiricist philosophising; this malady is the counterpart to that earlier philosophising in the clouds, which thought it could neglect and dispense with what was given by the senses. ... It finally turns out that one can, after all, not get along without metaphysics.(Albert Einstein, Remarks on Bertrand Russell's Theory of Knowledge)
Definitions of Metaphysics
I received these definitions in an email (I do not know the source). But they are generally good (I have added a few comments in brackets). Geoff
1: The philosophical study of being and knowing.
2: Metaphysics (Greek words meta = after/beyond and physics = nature) is a branch of philosophy concerned with the study of 'first principles' and 'being' (ontology).
3: The study of the nature and being of reality and its origin and structure.
4: A field of abstract thought and philosophy about topics not on theconcrete or physical level of understanding. This includes subjects likeexistence, the soul, being, the supernatural, astral travel and psychicism.(No. This is new age / postmodern view of metaphysics as 'beyond our senses' rather than correctly as the hidden cause of our senses. However, as the Wave Structure of Matter in Space explains, we are actually structures of the universe and this will explain these 'apparently' supernatural effects / subtle human senses.)
5: The manipulation of noetic symbols as if they were propositions.
6: Derived from the Latin word meta which means beyond, metaphysics wouldliterally mean that which is beyond the laws of physics. (No. As above, 'beyond our senses' is misleading - metaphysics studies the hidden causal connection of our visible senses.)
7: The study of the ultimate and fundamental reality. (Spot on!)
8: 'Beyond physics.' The branch of philosophy that deals with firstprinciples and seeks to explain the nature of reality and the origin andstructure of the world. (No. Metaphysics is the source of principles which found physics / science.)
9: Speculative thought about matters outside the perceivable physical world.
10: A branch of philosophy exploring the nature of reality or being, andusually finding the answers outside the physical world in God.(No. God is just another human constructed word, so this is meaningless.)
11: Philosophy of the mind, of knowing. (True. Metaphysics must understand how we can see a rock fall - this requires a correct understanding of the mind and how it is connected to the body / other matter in Space.)
12: Philosophic inquiry into the ultimate and fundamental reality; 'thescience of being as such'.
Metaphysics QuotesOn Truth, Reality & Principles in Science
Aristotle Metaphysics
It is clear, then, that wisdom is knowledge having to do with certain principles and causes. But now, since it is this knowledge that we are seeking, we must consider the following point: of what kind of principles and of what kind of causes is wisdom the knowledge? (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
Metaphysics involves intuitive knowledge of unprovable starting-points (concepts and truth) and demonstrative knowledge of what follows from them. (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
Demonstration is also something necessary, because a demonstration cannot go otherwise than it does, ... And the cause of this lies with the primary premises/principles. (Aristotle, Metaphysics)
The first philosophy (Metaphysics) is universal and is exclusively concerned with primary substance. ... And here we will have the science to study that which is just as that which is, both in its essence and in the properties which, just as a thing that is, it has. (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
The entire preoccupation of the physicist is with things that contain within themselves a principle of movement and rest. And to seek for this is to seek for the second kind of principle, that from which comes the beginning of the change. (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
There must then be a principle of such a kind that its substance is activity.... it is impossible that the primary existent, being eternal, should be destroyed.... that among entities there must be some cause which moves and combines things.... about its coming into being and its doings and about all its alterations we think that we have knowledge when we know the source of its movement. (Aristotle, Metaphysics, 340BC)
For those who wish to make good progress must start well; for subsequent progress depends on the resolution of the first puzzles, and one cannot solve these without knowing the difficulty and the confusion of our minds. So we must first set out all the difficulties, both for these reasons and also because those who inquire without first setting out the difficulties are like those who do not know in which direction they should walk, and in addition do not even know whether they would recognize that which they are looking for. For the end is not clear to these, but it is for those who have begun with the puzzles. And also from the point of view of judging that man is better off who has heard, as it were, all the rival and opposed positions. (Aristotle, Metaphysics)
Gottfried Leibniz on Metaphysics (Monadology)
(Gottfried Leibniz, 1670) It is a good thing to proceed in order and to establish propositions (principles). This is the way to gain ground and to progress with certainty. ... I hold that the mark of a genuine idea is that its possibility can be proved, either a priori by conceiving its cause or reason, or a posteriori when experience teaches us that it is a fact in nature.
Indeed in general I hold that there is nothing truer than happiness, and nothing happier and sweeter than truth. (Leibniz, 1670)
I agree with you that it is important to examine our presuppositions, thoroughly and once for all, in order to establish something solid. For I hold that it is only when we can prove all that we bring forward that we perfectly understand the thing under consideration. I know that the common herd takes little pleasure in these researches, but I know also that the common herd take little pains thoroughly to understand things. (Leibniz, 1670)
... a distinction must be made between true and false ideas, and that too much rein must not be given to a man's imagination under pretext of its being a clear and distinct intellection. (Leibniz, 1670)
But it is the knowledge of necessary and eternal truths which distinguishes us from mere animals, and gives us reason and the sciences, raising us to knowledge of ourselves and God. It is this in us which we call the rational soul or mind. (Leibniz, 1670)
When a truth is necessary, the reason for it can be found by analysis, that is, by resolving it into simpler ideas and truths until the primary ones are reached. It is this way that in mathematics speculative theorems and practical canons are reduced by analysis to definitions, axioms and postulates. (Leibniz, 1670)
David Hume Metaphysics Quotes: On Causation / Necessary Connection
It must certainly be allowed, that nature has kept us at a great distance from all her secrets, and has afforded us only the knowledge of a few superficial qualities of objects; while she conceals from us those powers and principles on which the influence of those objects entirely depends. (Hume, 1737)
When we look about us towards external objects, and consider the operation of causes, we are never able, in a single instance, to discover any power or necessary connexion; any quality, which binds the effect to the cause, and renders the one an infallible consequence of the other. (Hume, 1737)
... experience only teaches us, how one event constantly follows another; without instructing us in the secret connexion, which binds them together, and renders them inseparable. (Hume, 1737)
We then call the one object, Cause; the other, Effect. We suppose that there is some connexion between them; some power in the one, by which it infallibly produces the other, and operates with the greatest certainty and strongest necessity. (Hume, 1737)
Immanuel Kant Quotes on Metaphysics
Time was, when she (Metaphysics) was the queen of all the sciences; and, if we take the will for the deed, she certainly deserves, so far as regards the high importance of her object-matter, this title of honour. Now, it is the fashion of the time to heap contempt and scorn upon her; and the matron mourns, forlorn and forsaken, like Hecuba .. her empire gradually broke up, and intestine wars introduced the reign of anarchy; while the sceptics, like nomadic tribes, who hate a permanent habitation and settled mode of living, attacked from time to time those who had organized themselves into civil communities. But their number was, very happily, small; and thus they could not entirely put a stop to the exertions of those who persisted in raising new edifices, although on no settled or uniform plan. (Immanuel Kant, Critique of Pure Reason, 1781)
This can never become popular, and, indeed, has no occasion to be so; for fine-spun arguments in favour of useful truths make just as little impression on the public mind as the equally subtle objections brought against these truths. On the other hand, since both inevitably force themselves on every man who rises to the height of speculation, it becomes the manifest duty of the schools to enter upon a thorough investigation of the rights of speculative reason, and thus to prevent the scandal which metaphysical controversies are sure, sooner or later, to cause even to the masses. (Immanuel Kant, Critique of Pure Reason, 1781)
Albert Einstein on Principles in Physics
Note: This is a summary from the main Principles in Physics page (which is very good).
All logic depends upon Principles which gives rise to necessary consequences that are absolute and certain (rather than mere opinions). The aim of Science is to demonstrate that these logical deductions from (a priori) Principles exactly correspond with our sense of the real world from (a posteriori) observation and experiment. Albert Einstein explains this Scientific method very clearly;
(Albert Einstein) Physics constitutes a logical system of thought which is in a state of evolution, whose basis (principles) cannot be distilled, as it were, from experience by an inductive method, but can only be arrived at by free invention. The justification (truth content) of the system rests in the verification of the derived propositions (a priori/logical truths) by sense experiences (a posteriori/empirical truths). ... Evolution is proceeding in the direction of increasing simplicity of the logical basis (principles). .. We must always be ready to change these notions - that is to say, the axiomatic basis of physics - in order to do justice to perceived facts in the most perfect way logically. (Albert Einstein, Physics and Reality, 1936)
The development during the present century is characterized by two theoretical systems essentially independent of each other: the theory of relativity and the quantum theory. The two systems do not directly contradict each other; but they seem little adapted to fusion into one unified theory. For the time being we have to admit that we do not possess any general theoretical basis for physics which can be regarded as its logical foundation. (Albert Einstein, 1940)
If, then, it is true that the axiomatic basis of theoretical physics cannot be extracted from experience but must be freely invented, can we ever hope to find the right way? I answer without hesitation that there is, in my opinion, a right way, and that we are capable of finding it. I hold it true that pure thought can grasp reality, as the ancients dreamed. (Albert Einstein, 1954)
Albert Einstein Quotes on Metaphysics(Remarks on Bertrand Russell's Theory of Knowledge, 1954)
In the evolution of philosophical thought through the centuries the following question has played a major role: what knowledge is pure thought able to supply independently of sense perception? Is there any such knowledge? If not, what precisely is the relation between our knowledge and the raw material furnished by sense impressions?There has been an increasing skepticism concerning every attempt by means of pure thought to learn something about the 'objective world', about the world of 'things' in contrast to the world of 'concepts and ideas'. During philosophy's childhood it was rather generally believed that it is possible to find everything which can be known by means of mere reflection. It was an illusion which anyone can easily understand if, for a moment, he dismisses what he has learned from later philosophy and from natural science; he will not be surprised to find that Plato ascribed a higher reality to 'ideas' than to empirically experienceable things. Even in Spinoza and as late as in Hegel this prejudice was the vitalising force which seems still to have played the major role.The more aristocratic illusion concerning the unlimited penetrative power of thought has as its counterpart the more plebeian illusion of naive realism, according to which things 'are' as they are perceived by us through our senses. This illusion dominates the daily life of men and of animals; it is also the point of departure in all of the sciences, especially of the natural sciences.As Russell wrote;
'We all start from naive realism, i.e., the doctrine that things are what they seem. We think that grass is green, that stones are hard, and that snow is cold. But physics assures us that the greenness of grass, the hardness of stones, and the coldness of snow are not the greenness, hardness, and coldness that we know in our own experience, but something very different. The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself.'
Gradually the conviction gained recognition that all knowledge about things is exclusively a working-over of the raw material furnished by the senses. Galileo and Hume first upheld this principle with full clarity and decisiveness. Hume saw that concepts which we must regard as essential, such as, for example, causal connection, cannot be gained from material given to us by the senses. This insight led him to a skeptical attitude as concerns knowledge of any kind. Man has an intense desire for assured knowledge. That is why Hume's clear message seemed crushing: the sensory raw material, the only source of our knowledge,through habit may lead us to belief and expectation but not to the knowledge and still less to the understanding of lawful relations.
Then Kant took the stage with an idea which, though certainly untenable in the form in which he put it, signified a step towards the solution of Hume's dilemma: whatever in knowledge is of empirical origin is never certain. If, therefore, we have definitely assured knowledge,it must be grounded in reason itself. This is held to be the case, for example, in the propositions of geometry and the principles of causality. These and certain other types of knowledge are, so to speak, a part of the implements of thinking and therefore do not previously have to be gained from sense data (i.e. they are a priori knowledge).
Today everyone knows, of course, that the mentioned concepts contain nothing of the certainty, of the inherent necessity, which Kant had attributed to them. The following, however, appears to me to be correct in Kant's statement of the problem: in thinking we use with a certain "right", concepts to which there is no access from the materials of sensory experience, if the situation is viewed from the logical point of view. As a matter of fact, I am convinced that even much more is to be asserted: the concepts which arise in our thought and in our linguistic expressions are all- when viewed logically- the free creations of thought which cannot inductively be gained from sense experiences. This is not so easily noticed only because we have the habit of combining certain concepts and conceptual relations (propositions) so definitely with certain sense experiences that we do not become conscious of the gulf- logically unbridgeable- which separates the world of sensory experiences from the world of concepts and propositions. Thus, for example, the series of integers is obviously an invention of the human mind, a self-created tool which simplifies the ordering of certain sensory experiences. But there is no way in which this concept could be made to grow, as it were, directly out of sense experiences.
As soon as one is at home in Hume's critique one is easily led to believe that all those concepts and propositions which cannot be deduced from the sensory raw material are, on account of their 'metaphysical' character, to be removed from thinking. For all thought acquires material content only through its relationship with that sensory material. This latter proposition I take to be entirely true; but I hold the prescription for thinking which is grounded on this proposition to be false. For this claim- if only carried through consistently- absolutely excludes thinking of any kind as 'metaphysical'. In order that thinking might not degenerate into 'metaphysics', or into empty talk, it is only necessary that enough propositions of the conceptual system be firmly enough connected with sensory experiences and that the conceptual system, in view of its task of ordering and surveying sense experience, should show as much unity and parsimony as possible. Beyond that, however, the 'system' is (as regards logic) a free play with symbols according to (logically) arbitrarily given rules of the game. All this applies as much (and in the same manner) to the thinking in daily life as to the more consciously and systematically constructed thinking in the sciences.
By his clear critique Hume did not only advance philosophy in a decisive way but also - though through no fault of his - created a danger for philosophy in that, following his critique, a fateful 'fear of metaphysics' arose which has come to be a malady of contemporary empiricist philosophising; this malady is the counterpart to that earlier philosophising in the clouds, which thought it could neglect and dispense with what was given by the senses. ... It finally turns out that one can, after all, not get along without metaphysics.(Albert Einstein, Remarks on Bertrand Russell's Theory of Knowledge, Ideas and Opinions, 1954)
Note: Below are the main metaphysics pages - the Metaphysics sitemap has the full list of pages.
Metaphysics & Physical Reality
Metaphysics SolvesProblems of Science
One and the ManyDynamic Unity of Reality
Aristotle MetaphysicsSubstance & Properties
Benedictus de SpinozaMetaphysics of Motion
Sir Isaac NewtonAbsolute Space / Particles
Gottfried LeibnizMetaphysics / Monadology
David Hume MetaphysicsNecessary Connection
Immanuel Kant MetaphysicsSynthetic a priori Knowledge
Albert EinsteinField Theory of Matter
Metaphysics of SkepticismSkeptical / Skeptics Quotes
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Help Humanity
"When forced to summarize the general theory of relativity in one sentence: Time and space and gravitation have no separate existence from matter. ... Physical objects are not in space, but these objects are spatially extended. In this way the concept 'empty space' loses its meaning. ... The particle can only appear as a limited region in space in which the field strength or the energy density are particularly high. ...The free, unhampered exchange of ideas and scientific conclusions is necessary for the sound development of science, as it is in all spheres of cultural life. ... We must not conceal from ourselves that no improvement in the present depressing situation is possible without a severe struggle; for the handful of those who are really determined to do something is minute in comparison with the mass of the lukewarm and the misguided. ...Humanity is going to need a substantially new way of thinking if it is to survive!" (Albert Einstein)
Our world is in great trouble due to human behaviour founded on myths and customs that are causing the destruction of Nature and climate change. We can now deduce the most simple science theory of reality - the wave structure of matter in space. By understanding how we and everything around us are interconnected in Space we can then deduce solutions to the fundamental problems of human knowledge in physics, philosophy, metaphysics, theology, education, health, evolution and ecology, politics and society.This is the profound new way of thinking that Einstein realised, that we exist as spatially extended structures of the universe - the discrete and separate body an illusion. This simply confirms the intuitions of the ancient philosophers and mystics.Given the current censorship in physics / philosophy of science journals (based on the standard model of particle physics / big bang cosmology) the internet is the best hope for getting new knowledge known to the world. But that depends on you, the people who care about science and society, realise the importance of truth and reality.It is easy to help - just click on the social network sites (below) or grab a nice image / quote you like and add it to your favourite blog, wiki or forum. We are listed as the Top Philosophy Website on the Internet (500,000 page views / week) and have a wonderful collection of knowledge from the greatest minds in human history, so people will appreciate your contributions. Thanks! Geoff Haselhurst - Karene Howie - Email
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Real love

2007-12-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

Never become so in love with someone that you lose being true to yourself. Oh, It's ok to become crazy. It's ok to become so overwhelmed that you lose some focus. Because a person when stuned by powerful emotions is by nature possesed of the blindness and irrational enthral that heady love is known for, But, when you find yourself willing to figure in the cost of yourself, true to who you know you must be and can never escape, you are lost. Because one thing is true of love if it is ever to be mutual. One must be grounded in ones self... that must not change. If I ever feel it worth it to throw all caution to the wind and go for that one I want... It must be done with the passion that is me. It must flow from a real and solid and unmistaken source that had no doubt. If you lose the self that one must be true to then you have devalued yourself. All at once you have nothing to offer the focus of your love. What is there to give? The risk that must be taken can not be a risk of the lose of ones inner source because because to make that fatal mistake is to make the one you want a reflection of all you can't be. You then reflect incompleteness. This incompleteness is the very potential that the consumation of your love feels so certain to make real. Essentially you embody the thing that you love. When that happens you have no capacity to be what would be the recipient of you love, your personhood,... the very thing that it is your most consuming wish to give and complement perfectly has disappeared. The person who knew you has no chance of loving you..., because you are gone. When you cannnot take a risk of giving all of you at the chance of rejection you are no longer making the vulnerable step into the wonder of that magical relationship that is only possible when the one you love has the chance to see and love something that is a risk for them but likewise has the potential for offering something foreign and exotic. To take the crazy step I want to take must involve the reestablishment of that confident me who was fully aware of the total rightness of myself as who I am destined to be. Once I am sure that is recovered then it is ... to make the dive or not. Reassessment will be necessary but it will be immediate. With that old personhood of mine back in place, then I can take the leap and even if I lose I can't totally lose because ... Well things between us are in some sense bonded forever.

MAVERICK CONTINUED........

2007-12-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

I did not mention that I am not done with the post I just started. it will go in backward broken order but I am tired and as much as I will be writing it would be impossible to finish today. YYYes I am past morning,.... can't spell this so I mean weeping and processing my grief. since I am over the blues and sad dreadful agony of separating I can get on with processing what really happened and learn from it. anyway I am tired and will continue later.

Final disposition of Maverick Kissler

2007-12-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

After 23 days since seeing Maverick for the last time,, I feel I am ready, with a relatively objective hand, to write up a synopsis that will serve as a template for a letter I will have to hand deliver to Maverick. I must always be sure that when I end relationships it must be ended in honesty. I never would want the record to be left unofficial especially in light of the intensity of the relationship and the possible rumors that could unfold. I also must give my final version of the events of that 23 days ago time period. About the first of July of 2006. not quite a year and half ago. I met Maverick. It was not love at first sight, but with in 2 weeks I was taken aback at how fast and how hard I had fallen in love. I must say I am 46, at the time 44, yet I have never been so blindly thunderstruck in my entire life. It slipped up on me before I new it and because of the special circumstances of our new freindship I saw no reason to guard myself. Even though he would not admit it, at the time I thought he was gay, and though he seems sexually quite at home with the opposite sex, and, I am sure on the sexual side he is quite straight, I still however do think he is emotionally far more easily bonded with men. At the time I had never made a distinction. So much was that part obvious, that I saw no reason, until now, to continue to suffer through our relationship hoping that some sort of equilibrium might be met. I loved him so much that I didn't really care if a sexual relationship ever developed. I will not belabor the unecessary by telling the stormy and insane ins and outs of our relationship... suffice it to say I lost most of my freinds got addicted to a drug and almost ended up destroying myself before I woke up and realized that this 20 year old boy was only going to be the makings of depression and an early grave if something was not done. Yes he did spend almost all his time with me. He broke up with his girlfriend shortly after meeting me and only 5 weeks ago did he establish a relationship with a girl 3 years older than himself fresh out of prison. And though as a person she is great, and I really do like her, Damn, ... he could do so so so much better. I wish I had a photo to put on the net. This guy is so hot he can look at cold water and cause it to boil in under a second. What made it all the worse, except for the terrible high intensity fights we got into all the time, though he could likely have had girls around him on both arms at all times if he so chose, He never so chose, and all in all he spent I'd say at least 75 percent of his free time alone with me. Not always alone but just about. Now not every one new we spent so much time together cause he wanted to keep it on the qt that he spent the majority of his time running with a 46 year old gay man. especially from his family and certain of his older friends that he didn't see that much anymore. after a while people were calling him my boyfriend and he couldn't care less. but that took a while to develope. And so one can see why whether he wanted a sexual relationship or not I saw value in persevering. likewise though, many a person that knew us were certain he was taking advantage of me. After all why would he be spending so much time with me... there had to be a reason and some people thought that only by nature of my buying him could I ever hope to get so much face to face time with a knockout like him, not to mention the 26 year age gap. In truth no one ever treated me more politely and more considerately than he and let that stand for the record. Though I did spend a lot of money on him, when it ran out he did not, and usually put himself to the task of coming up with our running around money. Few would believe it, but its true. Yes many times he did hurt me, but I did so likewise. I am sure the pain on my part however, was infinitely more when he hurt me. But often when he hurt me, provocation was, I think, one of the only ways he knew how to test if you still were paying attention. lots of people thought he said terribly hurtful things to me because they didn't understand that he was trying to get a response and I always made a point of not showing my emotions and to never display jealousy. Once he'd finally go too far, and usually we would holler like idiots, and not talk to one another for any where from a day to two or three weeks.

So on to what I was headed for. The closing official words. by the way this is something I have never said. And I hope he doesn't come back. Because in actuality, I know he will, and it will take all I've got to keep things final. Of course I could be surprised and he might break down and start crying. But no matter what his orientation is I know he is not ready if he is gay. And on some level he is definitely male oriented. From this group he seeks approval and it's guys with whom ultimately he spends his time. Any time he has had a girlfriend she has usually been exclusively for quickie sex as far as I can tell. Once again I am off the subject.

I guess I intend this to be a final love poem or love song dedicated to what I believe I will never experience again. Of course If sex had entered into the situation I would have been destroyed if he couldn't handle it, because the intensity would have multiplied. And ultimately he will not want to stay with a guy my age. He still has so much growing up to do. What had me tricked is that ordinarily a guy that good looking at age 20 is busy chasing pussy, and wouldn't have 5 minutes for me. This was a puzzle. I truely believe that I would have been able to forget about things much quicker if he'd had enough sexual confidence to let me give him a blow job early on. In such a case ( as with half of straight guys ) Id be sure he was straight. Combine his clear fear of all things gay with our unspoken bond and he definitely had me strung along. Now he never intended that. He did however love to be looked at and he thoroughly loved my undying adoration for his body. Just would never let me touch it. Oh hell. I never tried. Too afraid of losing him.

I can still see his face. And in all truth I don't think he realizes that no one has ever or probably ever will love him as much as I did and still do. He was undying in enthusiasm over everything, full of so much youth and curiousity. I so much wanted to introduce him to my world of education. I wanted to help him get his GED. But out of fear (mine) we kept things simple and I never pushed him. He was so afraid of the world and prefered to act as though he had it all under control. I guess that vulnerability was just so beautiful. The thing I regret the most is losing myself because the me he met before I was knocked so off center was the person he was in love with. If I could have had the courage to stay me he may have had no choice. I am only now gaining confidence and starting to recognize the guy he fell in love with. Gosh I say that with such confidence now, like I knew he fell in love with me. Well in the beginning I believe he did. Just a few days after we met we started on a marathon of 16 days where we saw nobody but each other. Shit it was like everyone we knew thought we dropped off the face of the earth. Then it hit him. Bam, and everything ended for a while because It scared him to death. I think he hadn't been aware that he could feel that way and it was with a guy. He said "it scares me... I've never gotten so close to someone so fast in my life." Neither had I. When he ran off it almost killed me. I knew he'd be back but... oh I was so sure we'd come all that way together. though we spent endless hours together after that. It was never the same because he was always afraid.... not so afraid that he stayed away, but that we were always on edge. Nothing felt so natural, so alive like those 16 days had. And now its all over because now I will settle for nothing short of that again. So short of him resorting to tears and begging on bended knee will be enough to change the course I am now on. I am healing and I am learning and what I see in myself I like. So, no, short of marraige we will maintain the distance. Don't get me wrong I will always love him. And, If he calls anytime in trouble or scared and needs me for that short moment till I fix it for him I will be the first one there because I truely feel deep concern for his welfare.

To Date Improvement 11/28/07

2007-11-28T18:56:00.000-08:00

I am getting better. I have gone 71 days without meth; .... and I am seeing a therapist who is helping me figure out why I have had such little success in securing a job. I am improving in other areas. I am less depressed and I am becoming more centered and am finding that spot quicker than I might have imagined. I will write more later.

spoke to soon

2007-11-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

It appears I try to sabotage just about all aspects of my life that could give me any success or satisfaction. I don't know why. My cell phone I lost. Now there is nothing in it I need.

After nearly a year..... I RETURN

2007-11-09T00:21:00.000-08:00

After quite a spell of dormancy of mind and .... soul ( of a sort ) I am back at the helm of my blog. Well, Blogs (3 others). I suspect I will have quite a bit to write here now that I am back. One thing I will, here, remind myself to do is get some pictures of Maverick to put on the net. I have always told him that he needs some kind of public forum, if for nothing else to just see how people react to him just in photo. Not my blog.... not the most public of spots... No, somewhere; I have told him he could be a model, so why not lets see if we can find a spot to put him. Hey I've got it! the straight version of the hot or not site. It exists. And you get votes. Not only can he get feed back, but he will have a reason to get on the net, even if it is for the sake of sheer vanity. Girls who think he's hot will send in votes and self introductions. He just might get some keyboarding practice along with the associated verbal practice that come with it. Plus, he can meet people with similar interests in musical and lyrics writing to visit with globally. Damn, I have good ideas!
Well, I agree with Bill. After reading over much of my old blog, I can see that Timmy was quite an obsession. Furthermore, his comment in regard to how I talked about Maverick when he first went to RPF is, as he said...." You sound like you did when you used to talk about Timmy." I don't want that disaster to repeat itself. I haven't spoken to Timmy in almost 4 years now. For that to happen with Maverick..... well, It ain't gonna happen. And that is paticularly sobering, because the similarities are rather startling. But, much is different just the same. One thing is certain, many mistakes I made in torpedoing that relationship I already know I am avoiding here. I am being honest and am making it a point not to ( as best I can) make him the target of my own inadequacies or failures to manage my own emotional stability.
Maverick is straight, and as such, he is amazingly tolerant of my weaknesses where he is concerned. Whats more, the better friends we become the more careful he is, in every respect, to not take advantage of my vulnerability. It takes diplomacy and sensitivity to be so generous while not leading me on. It is also a sign a real friendship. Kim is so lucky, she might as well have won the lottery.

2006-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

Poet at Work: Walt Whitman Notebooks 1850s-1860s - About This Collection - (American Memory from the Library of Congress)

2006-10-29T05:25:00.000-08:00

Poet at Work: Walt Whitman Notebooks 1850s-1860s - About This Collection - (American Memory from the Library of Congress)

Yahoo! Photos - Picture 165

2006-10-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! Photos - Picture 165

2006-10-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Jones, Maverick Kissler, Stephen O'Kelley and Micheal Kohlman Starring in a true life drama; Modern, gripping with the verve and action of youth combined with twists of novelty that can be said to "happen only in America."
Such perversity of relationships among these phenomenal characters could truely only match the disimilarities of proportion the U.S is known for ( serial killers, secularity branded by religion, politics out of a sick carnival, in its excess, and hedgemonic emperialism grown of a technologically advanced nation state decadant in it's culture and anesthetized by money to the extent of criminality and corruption of moral character and decency) NO where is the typical modern American middle class so classically paralleled with American empoverishment of spirit and health of the poor and underpriveledged.....clearly galvanized in their kinship by the rampant drug use that is now a part of life in America "kindness and generosity of heart smooths the edges of this otherwise excoriating portrayal of the Arkansas Citizen left victimized by it's own history and culture of charity that contrast in such away that most americans today would call the behavior nothing more than pandering to socialism at it's core. This fact alone shows the banal and abysmal failing of education to have been presented as a virtue to a take hold in hopes of saving the generation most in need of what "intellectualism" as it is so scorned today, has to offer. It can be said that each of these well acted characters, in one way or another portends the downfall of the USA as an empire and superpower by each nuance of America's sick decline from the 4 directions within the country culturally and without and in economic forces that will diminish her from within! Stupendous, ........ could we have another Henry Miller / James Joyce literary giant taking shape? Many reviews and much of the academic world are asking that same question.... !

Anarchism given audience: Sivacracy

2006-05-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=55&articleId=3602
The centre-left revival in Italy has not extended to Sicily's regional election, but Rita Borsellino's campaign has highlighted a larger campaign for ethics and justice in Italian politics, reports Geoff Andrews.
Wed, 31 May 2006 17:6:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=2&debateId=46&articleId=3601
The dissolution of Kuwait's parliament and the calling of early elections reflect developing social and economic fissures in the Gulf emirate, says Raymond Barrett.
Wed, 31 May 2006 15:45:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=33&articleId=3600
A national referendum on the expansion of the Panama Canal is surrounded by financial and political questions about the 21st-century future of the 19th century's greatest engineering project, reports Mark Joyce.
Wed, 31 May 2006 14:0:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=6&articleId=3599
An innovative department within Britain's foreign office is attempting to win friends and influence by building bridges with the Islamic world, reports Ehsan Masood.
Wed, 31 May 2006 12:19:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=3&articleId=3598
President Bush's repeated proclamations of a "turning-point" in Iraq are a triumph of rhetoric over reality, says Sidney Blumenthal.
Wed, 31 May 2006 10:50:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=137&articleId=3597
The determinism of Francis Fukuyama's reheated modernisation theory does not fit the historical experience of the contemporary middle east, says Gavin Kitching.
Tue, 30 May 2006 15:44:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=1&articleId=3596
Shohei Imamura, regarded as one of cinema's greatest filmmakers, has died. This week's Small Picture: a still from one of his masterpieces, The Ballad of Narayama.
Tue, 30 May 2006 15:30:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=1&articleId=3595
Brían Hanrahan finds rich reward in Peter Weiss's great modernist masterpiece.
Tue, 30 May 2006 15:25:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=6&debateId=116&articleId=3594
The five-year review of HIV/Aids programmes at the United Nations general assembly from 31 May-2 June is likely to embrace the goal of "universal access". This will represent a refusal to learn from experience, says Tim France.
Tue, 30 May 2006 15:0:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=33&articleId=3593
The solution to the decades-long human-rights agony inflicted on Colombia's people lies in a revived form of regional solidarity, argues Juan Gabriel Tokatlian
Tue, 30 May 2006 13:25:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=33&articleId=3592
El Salvador's political stalemate reflects a social divide rooted in a bitter history, reflects Victor Valle.
Fri, 26 May 2006 16:50:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=1&debateId=66&articleId=3591
Writers and thinkers, including Tariq Ramadan, Aayan Hirsi Ali and Hans Magnus Enzensberger, debate religion and freedom of expression in the third audio feature from the PEN World Voices literary festival.
Fri, 26 May 2006 16:4:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=109&articleId=3590
The secret meetings of Europe's political authorities are sanctioning public policies that feed racist sentiment, argues Mats Engström.
Fri, 26 May 2006 15:0:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=6&articleId=3589
The momentous changes in world politics provoked by the 9/11 attacks have still not been recognised in the United States itself, reports Fred Halliday in New York
Fri, 26 May 2006 12:15:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=77&articleId=3588
The soldiers who refuse and resist carry the hidden wounds of war in Iraq. James M Skelly, who refused to serve in Vietnam, examines their ethical choices in the face of state-sanctioned violence.
Thu, 25 May 2006 17:33:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=6&debateId=129&articleId=3587
The story of climate change is stark and complex, dramatic and detailed, and universally important. Why do writers have a hard time telling it? Solana Larsen invites you to listen in on the Ankelohe Conversations.
Thu, 25 May 2006 15:21:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?id=2&articleId=3586
The renewed insurgency in Afghanistan owes much to the way the Taliban were overthrown in 2001.
Thu, 25 May 2006 13:31:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=3&debateId=137&articleId=3585
Francis Fukuyama's claims of universalism are belied by his unawareness of wider debates about modern knowledge systems, argues Vinay Lal.
Thu, 25 May 2006 12:31:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=8&debateId=85&articleId=3584
"The same patterns seen in the mass media are replicating themselves on the internet." David Shariatmadari speaks to the Wikipedians countering systemic bias in the world's biggest encyclopaedia.
Thu, 25 May 2006 11:52:00 GMT

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http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=1&debateId=65&articleId=3583
The love of millions for Bob Dylan's work ensures his place in post-1960s musical and popular culture. As Dylan turns 65, David Hayes offers a restless birthday tribute.
Wed, 24 May 2006 16:45:00 GMT

2006-05-31T17:17:00.000-07:00

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03
9781583226940

BC
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http://www.sevenstories.com/book/?GCOI=58322100619220

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A01
Derrick
Jensen
Derrick Jensen, activist, author, small farmer, bee-keeper, teacher, and philosopher, is the widely acclaimed author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, among others. A finalist for the 2003 J. Anthony Lukas Book Prize whose writing has been described as "breaking and mending the reader's heart," Jensen's speaking engagements in recent years have packed university auditoriums, conferences, and bookstores nationwide. He lives in rural California.

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eng

640
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The long-awaited companion piece to Derrick Jensen's immensely popular and highly acclaimed works A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe.

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The long-awaited companion piece to Derrick Jensen's immensely popular and highly acclaimed works A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe. Accepting the increasingly widespread belief that industrialized culture inevitably erodes the natural world, Endgame sets out to explore how this relationship impels us towards a revolutionary and as-yet undiscovered shift in strategy. Building on a series of simple but increasingly provocative premises, Jensen leaves us hoping for what may be inevitable: a return to agrarian communal life via the disintegration of civilization itself.

Derrick Jensen, activist, author, small farmer, beekeeper, teacher, and philosopher, is the widely acclaimed author of A Language Older Than Words and The Culture of Make Believe, among others. A finalist for the 2003 J. Anthony Lukas Book Prize whose writing has been described as "breaking and mending the reader's heart," Jensen's speaking engagements in recent years have packed university auditoriums, conferences, and bookstores nationwide. He lives in rural California.

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08

"Derrick Jensen is a rare and original voice of sanity in a chaotic world. He has wisdom and wit, grace and style, and is a wonderful guide to a good life beautifully lived."

-Howard Zinn

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08

"Derrick Jensen is a gifted and lyrical writer on a wide range of critical issues. He is unrelenting in his commitment to the environment and justice."

-Winona LaDuke

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http://www.sevenstories.com/resources/58322100619220/images/58322100619220L.gif

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http://www.sevenstories.com/resources/titles/58322100619220/images/58322100619220S.gif

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Seven Stories Press
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http://www.sevenstories.com

US
2005
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01
18.95
USD

Dymaxion Web

2006-05-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

Dymaxion Web

2006-05-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

Dymaxion Web

technorati's finger

2006-05-07T01:58:00.000-07:00

Me parace que debe acceptar.

Mike .... Do I love Mike and How Many Mikes are There?

2006-05-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

It is so beautiful that I don't really love Mike. Of course I know the difference between love and infatuation. Frankly I find it now the more enjoyable to get to know him... and Jen. Is it possible to comfortably without jealousy or anxiety to adjust myself to both of them?

The Fictions of Deleuze and Guattari:A Fictional Poetic Biography:Clifford Duffy.

2006-05-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

The Fictions of Deleuze and Guattari:A Fictional PoeticThis space is for the Fictions of Jill,Franny and Mona:The Fictions of Deleuze and Guattari,a Biography. The "fictions" are a series of epistolary missives, a chaosmosis inspired by imaginings and becomings. The fictions then, a desire-machine,tale of becomings,ebb flow, turn of break-cut. Schizoanalysis = Prose Poetry. Catch a FallIng StaR Sister Deleuze Yer desire Machines'll Sing their Ringin' Tone. Text and some Images of this Site©copyright 2004,5,6 by Clifford Duffy.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006

conveys convoys
conveys covens convoys. roll around the bed. bed bendmountain tops where clouds the once hailed doubterwent. henceforth her pearls were as zoos and spent, cowries. not an iota in the tea, of her lavender, leaveswhere he fallen. as angels to quick sandher ears, was swift to hear wrong, when none,done. training, slung her downthat, way . not an other , available choice,was inventories for her.Jill opens his mouth on the triumphthe trump of Seeds. a Capital See to hereye around the assing spoke of closephosphate rhyme.no lazier than a sent call. busted in the cellof ear. hearing aid. not riched by the pastureof dent. she was an find, of foolscap and gold.have a cigarette, said Franny, I did.and did.or a cell, was truly a patient thought.over mounted cloud tophill and vase,her seething gownsunfurled her way.unfurled her brassiere.
posted by Clifford Duffy at 12.4.06
Friday, February 17, 2006

forgotten fictions
forgotten fictions not forgot http://onethousandblogsbyduffyandbutler.blogspot.com/fare forward he said O ravellers . Blogs grope in groupsand ticking sideways a lateral splay awkward balances and princeof putty and pieces of the detotalized machine. Mamachine My China. O delerious deluxe boxof delire and lire O fou a delire . In Goriziawe became very free, do you remember that,the Italian doctor, that winter , them days,they condemned his first book?O dear, them was the daysof disappointe'd and unexpectedattacks in the guts,as they blamed that poor first bookfor so much then somedropping the dime on an innocent thinga sweet thigh of loveand we kissed in her room atop a loft(it was a bit cold! that room!the smell still a tiny bit in me nose)on St.Lawrence boulevard fourweeks before the book 'came out."Cheers and leers of dears.On the porch of portico.
posted by Clifford Duffy at 17.2.06
Tuesday, January 31, 2006

forget Knot
dont forget its here:http://antioedipus.blogspot.com/#113890592029811070 remember its here too:http://onethousandblogsbyduffyandbutler.blogspot.com/the schizo Analysisthe pardon the debit crebitlebit!
posted by Clifford Duffy at 31.1.06
Friday, December 02, 2005

The Unconscious is Turned Towards the Future
ringringannounces all future fictions are going to be atOne Thousand Blogs.So for the purposes of some sort of chrono_ or development episodes here are no longer to be posted! or hosted!!???what she says?and sez:See:The Unconscious is Turned to the FutureIn the meantime this machine blog desire space'l revised vised and advised. A vice for a verse.So then off they go: Mona, Jill and Franny moved.With the whole gamboling gang.What's here stays but what goes goes, and goes Goes.
posted by Clifford Duffy at 2.12.05
Saturday, November 19, 2005

Yes Real Word
Yes__real__Word__child :Plateau 01.Rush of leaves:dinosaur, alleged clay , cave drawings,stir of tea, bangs,crib, ciborium of rust,close of further. Lily, rose,wove of taste.Our mothers themselves declare.Why have we kept our own names? (we have no name or place to stay) Out of habit (habit is the vomit the dog goes to, returns), purely (what is pure, puree? or nurture? a mature spout of mult?) out ofhabit... ( we are out of habit, out of habits, no clothes, nohouse, home or choice, please your moto to cryleer of gust __ no habit to place over the headof commingling)Also because it's (becomings)nice(be nice be nice, he said to me that time in Paris, afterthe long seminar on metallurgy)to talk like everybody else, (you mean like everyone 'else' else what? Or else! beware she giggled with a big fat smile),to say thesun rises (the Sun Also Rises indeed she does dear Mayokovsky and Ernest) when everybody(everybody is nobody is everybody is no one is ....)knows it's only a manner of speaking.(A manner: Manner s at the table of thoughtand disease: Mannerism a prac tice of Artmanner of courtesy and knightof approaching love; chivalric code)To reach, (to reach to boldy go where noother thinker has gone where no everybody has beenin the bin of yer bucket of love)not only the point where one no longer says I, but the point where it is (I III me memememememe no more me I)(the point no more jagged sharp hurting javelin but an I jamboree)no longer of any importance whether one says I. We are no longer (never was yourselves myselves the ... b, the g,)ourselves. ... Each will know her own. We have been aided, inspired,multiplied. Them good old multiplication tables of lore!remember? O those day s of memorizaiton something the spoke word types 'll never get .or know .how could they?how could they know?Nous avons ete aide, aspires, multiplies.How lovely in French withthe aspirant of aspire itself the verbal mimicry of theaspirationalmultiplication of self.Like beauty's smileSo yes, saying to the child where is the flower and is it real isquite legitmate and most of All Pragmatic_. And that is what we have inGuattarianDeleuzian machine making. A practicality.as we describe our art as a Pragmanticism programme. Blogs are machines to click and whine across the suns of the virtual.
posted by Clifford Duffy at 19.11.05 Biography:Clifford Duffy.

[PREVIEW] LETTER TO MIKE (stephenokar.blog-city.com)

2006-03-27T04:06:00.000-08:00

[PREVIEW] LETTER TO MIKE (stephenokar.blog-city.com)

Mike Swick MMA Fighter

2006-03-08T05:54:00.000-08:00

Mike Swick MMA Fighter: "Mr. Olympia

"

Mike Swick MMA Fighter

2006-03-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

Mike Swick MMA Fighter: "Mr. Olympia

"

2006-03-08T05:34:00.000-08:00

Dig below:

His name is Mike Swick and I am an Ultimate Fighter....
whooooooooooooooo... yeah baby!
Ultimate something...
WHAT ELSE CAN HE ULTIMATELY DO?
WHAT ELSE WOULD HE ULTIMATELY DO?
ULTIMATELY I THINK HE WOULD.
But would I have to pin him?
Or would he have to pin me?

What makes men fight and love it so so so so so much?
It is their burning point of becoming.
They become through the process of fighting other men.
But do they ever allow themselves to pop? or is this the only way they can avoid it? In the end, what is the psychology of the man who more than anything lives to pin another man??
And of their male fans? who worship them like greek gods?
what is the becoming point in all the excitement eminating from these men getting all heated up over the combat between them such that it is ... OBSESSION????

www.myspace.com/mikeswick

2006-03-08T05:33:00.000-08:00

www.myspace.com/mikeswick: "

Mike Swick's New Highlight Reel

By: Rhys Hora (bigrhys24@hotmail.com)

"

CHEMICAL INDUCED REVELATION AND COMFORT

2006-03-01T03:25:00.000-08:00

THIS IS A MENTAL CHANGE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER EXPERIENCED SUBJECTIVELY BY MYSELF UNDER THE MENTAL
CHANGES WROUGHT THROUGH THE EXPOSURE TO VARIOUS AMINATIONS OF ALUMINUM CORESPONDENT EXTRACTIONS
THIS TERM USED LOOSELY REFERS TO A VARIETY OF SYNTHESIS AND ELIMINATION PROSCESSES EXECUTED ON AN EXTRACT OF A HIGHLY POTENT CANNABINOL VARIATIONS  BY  VARIOUS PRECIPITATES AND BASE NITRATION  AMINATION
HCL NAOH NH3OH ALUMINO CHLORO EQUILIBRIATION AND ZINC CATALYZED (ACTUALLY I AM NOT SURE WHAT I DID)

PREVIOUSLY IN AN EFFORT( WITH SOME LAZINESS THAT LEAVES OPEN THE QUESTION OF WHICH PARTICULAR AGENTS OR COMBINATION THERE OF WERE OF MOST IMPORTANTS IN THE MENTAL CHANGES AS WELL AS TO  WHAT CONCENTRATION OF THESE AMOUNTS AND PROPORTION  RESPONSIBLE OR EVEN AS TO WHAT OUTSIDE SENSORY ELEMENTS WERE INVOLVED). THERE  OCCURRED  AFTERWARD  NO OTHER THAN A LIFE CHANGING REORDINATION OF MY MENTAL ARCHITECHTURE SUCH THAT I COULD, I  BELIEVE, ( IF NOT FOR THE LACK OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN THIS COUNTRY) A REVITALIZATION OF OUR HUMAN CONDITION AND HELP MAN BE AS HE IS.  SCARCITY WOULD BE OF INCONSEQUENCE TO ECONOMIC FACTORS.  THIS VERY PREMISE TO START WITH IS THE VARY RATIONAL BY WHICH OUR POWERS THAT BE DUPE HUMAN KIND INTO BELIEVING THAT CONTROL OF OTHER HUMANS IS NECESSARY AND THE LACK OF SECURITY  WE BELIEVE WE EXPERIENCE IN REGARD TO TERRORISM IS AN ILLUSION TO LEVERAGE OUR RIGHTS FROM US AS AMERICAN CITIZENS.  WHY THESE INSANE PERSONS COULD BE DRIVEN TO SUCH EVIL IS EITHER STUPIDITY COMBINED WITH GREED AND LUST FOR POWER OR SIMPLY PURE IGNORANCE LEADING TO BELIEVE POWER AND MONEY ARE WORTH HAVING IS A MYSTERY.
      REGARDLESS I RECOGNIZED THAT NO ONE CAN PROVE MUCH OF ANYTHING, AND THE THINGS THAT CAN SCIENTIFICALLY BE PREDICTED,….. “PROVEN IN OUR SUBJECTIVITY OF OBSERVATION”, ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT APPEAR TO BE USEFUL AND OF ALL THESE THINGS EVEN THAT IS INQUESTION.  ALBEIT, THIS CHANGE IN MY MENTAL STATUS DOES APPEAR TO BE BASED ON SCIENTIFIC SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH EVEN THAT KNOWLEDGE HAS ONLY ALLOWED ME (ONE OF MANY) TO KNOW IT. SIMILARLY IT IS CURIOUS THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS BEEN ABLE TO (IF THEY HAVE KNOWN WHAT I KNOW)TO MAKE MUCH HEADWAY IN BROADCASTING THIS TO THE MASS OF HUMANITY AND IF THEY HAVE TRIED IT HAS OBVIOUSLY HAD VERY LITTLE IMPACT.
TO SUM UP SIMPLY WHAT I DISCOVERED IS THAT LOVE AND COMPASSION ARE THE HIGHEST FORMS IN MAN THAT CONTAIN VALUE.   OTHER THINGS ARE SUPERFLUOUS.  THE ENDING OF SUFFERING IN MAN IS NOT A NOBLE GOAL HOWEVER. COMPASSION IS FAR MORE USEFUL THAN ENDING SUFFERING.  IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE IF WE DIE ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES BE RATHER PAINFUL, BUT WE CAN FIX THAT NOW WITH DRUGS IF THEY ARE AVAILALBLE.   AND THEN AGAIN PAIN AND TERROR ARE RATHER INDISTINGUISABLE TO A DEGREE AND BOTH EXPERIENCES SEEM SUBJECTIVE AND NOTHING HAS PROVEN THAT OUR OWN MINDS CANNOT BE PROVEN TO DEFUSE ANY OR ALL OF THESE RESPONSES.  AFTER DEATH WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS;  NO ONE HAS EVER KNOWN.  THIS IS A GREAT SOURCE OF FEAR AND ANGUISH IN MANY, YET WHEN YOU LEAVE YOU WILL NO LONGER MIND IF YOU CEASE TO EXIST AND IF YOU DON’T CEASE TO EXIST,….. WELL THEN…. NO PROBLEM!! THE ONLY REASON I FIND IT PLEASURABLE TO EXIST AND CONTINUE IS FROM WHAT I LEARN ABOUT THE FASCINATIONS OF THE MIRACULOUS LIFE AS IT EXISTS AND THE IMPROBABILITY OF ME BEING ME AS OPPOSED TO THE OTHER 7 BILLION OTHERS AND YET I ALONE EXPERIENCE THE WORLD FIRST HAND; THIS LASTS CONCIEVABLY FROM 44 (THE YEARS I HAVE LIVED SO FAR) TO 122 AT ITS MOST UNUSUAL STATISTIC LENGTH OF TIME AND IS COMPARED TO THE AGE OF OTHER EVENTS THAT OCCUR LIKE A PICO SECOND OF EXISTENCE.    ULTIMATELY,  WE, EVEN TODAY, DISPITE OUR TECHNOLOGY AND OUR INTELLIGENCE ARE UNABLE TO CONCLUDE THAT OUR LIVES ARE ONE WHIT MORE ENJOYALBLE OR MORE ADVANCED THAN AN OLD HUNTER GATHERER SOCIETY OF THE STONE AGE.  WE DO NOT KNOW WHY WE EXIST.  WE DO NOT KNOW IF WE MAY HAVE A PURPOSE.  WE DO NOT KNOW WHY (IF YOU BELIEVE IN THE EVOLUTIONARY HYPOTHESIS) HOW WE GOT SUCH BIG AND FORMIDABLE BRAINS UNLESS IT IS SOME CURIOSITY LIKE THE OVER BEAUTIOUS SPECTACLE OF PEACOCK FEATHERS TO ATTRACT MATES, OR IF THE UNIVERSE JUST LIKES TO LOOK AT ITSELF.  THEORIES ABOUND AND IT’S PAUCITY OF THEORIES IS RATHER A POOR STATEMENT ON THE SCIENCE OF EXISTENCE.  THE UPTAKE ON EVOLUTIONARY THEORY ALTHOUGH WE ARE CERTAIN IF WE TRUST OUR TECHNOLOGY THAT MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF ANIMALS CAME BEFORE AND WENT EXINCT.  PROCESSES BEHIND THE IDEA THAT EVOLUTION AND HOW IT OCCURRED IS RIFE WITH UNVERIFIED PROCESSES AND MECHANISMS THAT ARE TRITE, UNIMAGINATIVE AND DEMONSTRABLY POOR BY ANY STANDARD TO EXPLAIN WHAT WE OBSERVE.  WHICH BY THE WAY IN THE FOSSIL RECORD HAS SHOWN NEITHER TRANSITORY FORMS NOR ANY METHOD FOR EXPLAINING THE “HOW” OF HOW IT OCCURRED?  BUT HOT DIGGITY WE ARE CERTAIN THAT IT’S TRUE WE JUST REALLY DON’T HAVE A CLUE HOW IT HAPPENED.  IT’ S ALSO A LIKABLE THEORY, FOR THE MASSES IT SUGGESTS OUR SUPERORITY AND FOR PHILOSOPHERS IT ALLOWS FOR TELEOLOGICAL UTOPIANISM.    NEEDLESS TO SAY THE WORLD IS ALL FUCKED UP GETTING MORE FUCKED UP AND HEADED TOWARD WAR SOONER OR LATER ON A BIG WW3 SCALE UNLESS FORTUITOUSLY WE DISCOVER AND AMAZING FIX IT ALL THAT EVERYONE WANTS RIGHT OUT OF THE GOOD OLD USA  AND WE ALL RIDE A BEAUTIFIC WAVE OF IRRATIONAL EXUBERANCE BECOME ENRICHED TO THE POINT OF PRINCES.  BUT WHAT FUN IS THAT UNLESS WE CAN HAVE MORE THAN SOMEONE ELSE SO WE’LL BE STINGY AND LORD IT OVER THE REST OF THE WORLD AND ACT LIKE THE FRENCH THINK WE ARE.  I ONLY HOPE WE GET THESE NUTS OUT OF THE WHITEHOUSE OR WE ENTER A GREAT DEPRESSION BECAUSE I THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNER TO LEARN THROUGH ECONOMIC COLLAPES THAN WAR AND GENOCIDE BUT THOSE ARE ONLY PERSONAL TASTES OF MINE A PENCHANT FOR THE LESS VIOLENT AND DISASTERS THAT PUT PEOPLE IN SITUATIONS WHERE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO VISIT GET CLOSER TO ONE ANOTHER AND NATURE THAN WATCH TV AND WORK ALL THE TIME.  BY THE WAY I THINK THIS WEARING OF CLOTHES IF ONLY A MATTER OF TASTE I PERSONALLY THINK SOME PEOPLE SHOULD.  OTHERS I WOULD LIKE FOR THEM TO RUN NAKED ALL THE TIME AND BE AROUND ME A LOT WHEN THEY DO IT.
    SO NOTHING MUCH IS PROVABLE;  THERE ARE NO DOWN SIDES,  LOVE  AND COMPASSION ARE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING; FEAR IS A DOWNER WORRY IS TOO,.. BECAUSE WHO HAS HAD MUCH LUCK AT PREDICTING THE FUTURE.  LIVING IS A PRIVELIDGE.  GUILT AND BLAME ARE STATES OF HYPERSUPERIORITY THAT SUGGEST WE KNOW WAY MORE THAN WE CAN.  MY SITUATION IS PERSONALLY GOOD.  IF I COULD GET THE SUPPORT NEEDED I COULD GET FOLKS TO SEE IT MY WAY AND WE WOULD ALL FEEL MUCH BETTER ON THIS EARTH FOR THE SHORT SPAN HERE.  WHO KNOWS MAYBE SOME OF US SHOULD COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE WE MAY FIND THINGS BETTER IN A LIFE TO COME IF THERE IS ONE.  I LIKE TO THINK SO….
PEACE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL OUT THERE…..BUT IT HASN’T HELPED ME SPELL ANY BETTER.  SOME THINGS ARE SO CLEAR.  HOW THE VERY FACT THAT NO ONE HAS PROBABLY HAD THE NERVE OR REALIZATION THAT DIFFERENCES IN INCOME ARE NOT LINEAR .   THERE EXISTS AN INCOME WHERE MOST PERSONS IN THIS SORT OF SOCIETY (SPLINTERED FUNCTIONS), WHERE YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO LIVE WITH NO REAL THREATS OR MAJOR CHANLLENGES TO YOUR EXISTENCE AND ITS STABLE AND STANDARD NOT SUBJECT TO VARIATION.  IN THIS PRETTY TIGHT LITTLE RANGE  SOCIETY HAS NO REASON TO EXPECT THAT ANYONE SHOULD GIVE THEM PAUSE TO CONSIDER IF THAT OTHER HUMAN HAD BAD TIMES THAT SOCIETY, THE GOV. OR SHEER ECONOMY ITSELF SHOULD KEEP THAT LEVEL THE GENERAL ORDAINED MINIMUM FOR ALL GROUPS.  PERSONS OF WEALTH GETTING ENOURMOUS MULTIPLES OF THAT LEVEL SAY 100 TIMES THAT AMOUNT,.. WELL THEY SHOULD REALLY WITH IN THE WIDE  CONSIDERATION FOR LIFESTYLE AND DEMOCRATIC DIFFERENCES IN EXPRESSION  NOTE THAT 100 TIMES SAY 38,000 FOR A SINGLE COUPLE BEFORE CHILDREN IT WOULD BE CLEAR THAT AT 10 TIMES THAT AMOUNT THAT BUMP OF WHETHER YOU RAN OVER THE SPEED BUMP TO LET US NOTE WE HAVE ENOUGH TO KEEP US FEELING IN A SENSE OF SECURITY WITH THE AMOUNT AND IT THEN MOVES UP AND UP STILL NEVER REACHING THAT SENSE THAT FREEDOM AND OPPORTUNITY  AND LACK OF THREAT TO LIFESTYLE AND SAFETY JUST DON’T REALLY GET MORE ACCEPTABLE THEY  JUST MAKE YOU ABLE TO HAVE THINGS WITH A GREATER SENSE OF HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE ALL IN ALL COMPARED WITH ALL THE REST OF SOCIETY.  PEOPLE CAN LOOK OVER ON YOU AND SAY OHHH HE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY SPECIAL…. HE IS A BIG CFO OR A CEO OR A VENTURE CAPITALIST… WELL WHEN YOU DO THINGS LIKE THAT IT WOULD SEEM YOU WOULD JUST BY VIRTUE OF THE FACT THAT THE JOB IS SO SPECIAL AND SO FEW ARE TALENTED ENOUGH TO DO THIS KIND OF WORK YOU WOULD MORE CLEARLY NOTICE THE GENERAL BOUANCY YOU WOULD FEEL BY HAVING SUCH OUTSTANDING ABILITIES THAT YOU ARE PRIVILAGED TO FIND A JOB THAT ALLOWS YOU CHANLLENGES THAT ARE JUST UP YOUR ALLEY……AND IMAGINE THEY ACTUALLY PAY ME TO DO THIS!!!  I JUST HAVE TO ASK ARE WE GOING TO BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT WE REALLY DO AND REALLY WANT IN OUR WORLD GOING ON.  NOTHING OUT THERE IS DESIGNED TO REFLECT THIS SORT OF ECONOMIC STRUCTURE YET WE HAVE IT AND NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE IT MANY MAKE FAR MORE THE 100 TIMES THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY A YEAR,   SOME PACK 500, SOME PACK 1000 TIMES  EVEN 10,000 IN A NOT TO LARGE POPULATION GROUPS BUT WELL THEY DO AND IT’S NOT LIKE THERE ARE ONLY 5 OR 10 IN THE WORLD…. MORE LIKE 1000 OR SO FAMILIES .. THERE ARE THOSE WHO APPARENTLY MAKE IN THE RANGE OF 100,000 TIMES THAT AMOUNT EVERY YEAR!!  MAYBE 5 OR 10.

FRANKLY IF WE DON’T CONSIDER AN AVERAGE OF THAT AMOUNT EVERY YEAR ITS CERTAINLY TRUE THAT HUNDREDS OF FAMILIES MAKE IN THE RANGE OF A GOOD NUMBER OF INCOME YEARS  AT THE 100,000 TO 250,000 TIMES THAT AMOUNT FOR A FEW YEARS AND SOME FOR 10 OR MORE.  IT APPEARS BILL GATES MADE 30 YEARS OF OF HIS LIFE A TAKE DOWN OF NEAR ON TO 1000,000 TIMES THAT 38,000 A YEAR.   THEN THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE ONE.  WHAT HAS THE GREATEST RESOURSE VALUE EVEN TO MR. BILL GATES.  SHEER HUMAN COMPASSION SHOWES THAT AFTER MR GATES COULD LONG HAVE BUILT THE BIGGEST HOUSE IN THE WORLD MULTIPLE HOUSES OF THE SORT AND VAST OPPULENCE AND QUALITY OF SERVICE FOR THE TINIEST THING HE OR ANY OF HIS FAMILY MIGHT NEED.  HE WOULD STILL NOT HAVE SPENT IT UP AND IN FACT FRANKLY THE AVERAGE CHRISTIAN EVEN LOOKS DOWN ON THE CONCEPT OF THE PURCHASE OF 18,000.000$$ SHOWER CURTAINS WHEN YOU COULD HAVE A 180 DOLLAR CURTAIN AND FEED A FAMILY OF 4 FOR PROBABLY THEIR ENTIRE LIVES FOR THE REMAINDER.   SO IF YOU MADE A 10 BILLION AND GAVE 9 BILLION AWAY YOU WOULD STILL HAVE WAY MORE THAN 99.9 PERCENT OF THE REST OF THE WORLD AND COULD FEED A POPULATION OF 240,000 ONLY MARGINALLY LESS FINELY THAN THAT FAMILY OF FOUR ALL THEIR LIVES.  OK THAT’S ONLY ONE FAT CAT LETS BRING THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE LEVEL DOWN TO NO MORE THAT 100 TIMES.   THAT FREES UP HUGE VOLUMES OF MONEY INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH. 3,000,000 INDIVIDUAL CITIZENS( MAYBE I AM OFF HERE) BY A FACTOR OF 2OR SO HERE EITHER WAY .   THAT WOULD UNLEASH ENOUGH TO FEED ALL THE WORLDS POPULATION AND LEAVE COPIOUS AMOUNTS TO THESE OBSCENELY WEALTHY PEOPLE TO CONTINUE TO AMASS BECAUSE IF THEY ALREADY HAVE IT IT’S NOT EARNED THIS YEAR.  THE EXISTING WEALTH IS STILL ALREADY TAXED.  THIS IS THE REAL NUMBER FOR WEALTH IN THE USA  THIS IS APPROX.100 TRILLION TO POSSIBLY 600 TRILLION.  I DON’T THINK THEIRS ANY THREAT WE COULDN’T PAY OFF OUR FEDERAL DEBT.  BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT I FEAR.  I FEAR US NOT GOING INSOLVENT.  I WOULD DELIGHT IN THE WHOLE BLITHERING MASS OF MELT DOWN TO OUR ECONOMIC SINGE SPOT ON THE LEVEL OF FINDING EVIDENCE OF CIVILIZATIONS HIGHER THAN OUR OWN AROUND SOMETIME 1,000,000 YEARS OLD.   HOW CAN WE SO FULLY KNOW THAT THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME FUTURE CIVILIZATION WITH AND AUTOMATIC SELF DISTRUCT OF ALL EVIDENCE IT WAS EVER ON EARTH NOT INTENDING TO STAYOR ALLOW THE REST OF KNOW THEY INTERVENED.  SCIENCE IT A FUMBLE DING DING IDIOT AT EXPLAINING OUR INORDINATELY NEVER BEFORE OBSERVED BROAD EXPANSION IN THE BRAIN CASE HOW DOES AND WHY DOES THIS CHANGE OCCUR SUPPOSEDLY SO RAPIDLY HOW DO WE MAY HAVE FAILED BEFORE AND IS NOW BEING CORRECTED IN THE RAPID MORPHOGENIC FIELD .  SINCE WE ARE DEMONSRTRATING WHAT COULD BE A 5 TO 6 DOING IN  MECHANISM EVOLUTIONISTIC SENSE.    JUST THAT WE PROBABLY HAVE A LARGE ELECTROMATIC SPECTRUM MONITORING CELLURLAR ERRORS AND MISTAKES SOME COULD BE MADE BETTER AND WE COULD STUDY THEM IN CHEAPER AND MORE SPECIAL TOOLS.  WE ARE JUST A REFLECTION OF THE IDEA THAT WE JUST DON’T HAVE MUCH TO DO ARROUND HERE.  I HAVE PLENTY BUT NONE OF IT NEEDS DOING DOING BECAUSE NONE OF IT REALLY MATTERS.  WE SEEM TO HAVE VERY LITTLE  COMPREHENSION  OF WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO.   WE NOW SIMPLY HAVE VIRUSES  ALKOLOIDAL PLANT AND SOIL SYSTEMS AND THE INTERDEPENDENCE OF DIRT OUT SIDE FORCES FROM OUR HOMES.  OUR MINDS PROBABLY HAD BIOCHEMICAL INTERDEPENDENCE .  CLEARLY LIVING AS THE PART OF THE MECHANISTIC BORROWINGS  OF ORGANICS AND THEIR EMERGING FAMILY OF CHEMICAL MARKERS AND LIKEWISE WE HUMANS HAVE A TENDENCY WANT TO PUT ALL THE SAME TYPE OF THINGS IN THE SAME TYPE PLACES.  ODDLY ENOUGH WE HAVE CONFLUVIAL BIOCHEMICAL MARKING TYPES FOR SOME THINGS COULD BE FORCED TO WORK  VIA SEA AND OCEAN MECHANISTIC FORMS AFTER MORE INVESTIGATIONS IT JUST SEEMS ODD TO IGNORE THAT WE HAVE COME UP WITH MUCH OF THE RECENT DESIGNS FOR WHAT WE HAVE NOW IS NO WHERE PEOPLE WHOULD HAVE TAKEN A SNIFF.  I THINK IT IS MORE REASLISTIC TO WANT SOMETHING I CAN ONLY KEEP FINDING IN THAT PARTICULAR SPOT.   I JUST WANT TO THANK THOSE FEW REALLY HOT FINE FINE  BEING IN MY FIELD  OF  WHY WOULDN’T WE WANT TO EVENTUALLY JUST MORE STORAGEOPTION.  THINK HOW I WANT TO TOUCH KIDS LIKE I WAS WHEN I WAS JUST DISCOVERING SEX NOT ALONE I ALWAYS LIKED ANY GUY BETTER THAN GIRLS FRANKLY I THINK WE HAVE A GREAT MANY TOOLS THEY DID OR I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I TRUSTED MALES.  BOYS,…..OTHER DUDES , FELLAS BUDS OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS.  IN YOUNGER SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT I ORIENTED QUICKLY TO OTHER MALES.  GIRLS WERE ALIEN.  I WANTED INTIMACY WITH BOYS MEN REALLY BUT THERE IS THAT REMEMBERENCE OF TIMES THINGS HAPPENED WHEN WE WERE SO SO SO CLOSE.  WE JUST I KNOW WHAT I WOULD WANT LATTER I MEAN I GUESS ALL PERSONS ARE NATURALLY AFFECTIONATE AND TOUCHING IF YOU GIVE THEM HALF THE CHANCE I JUST KNOW WHAT I KNOW ABOUT GIRLS AND HOW INTIMATE I HAVE BEEN IN THOSE SITUATIONS AND I SADLY SET IT UP SO THAT I CAN ENCOURANGE AND YOUNG PEOPLE HOW TO LIVE THEIR LIVES. I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS THE FUCKING TRUTH TOO GOD DAMN IT I AM GOING TO JUST COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY IT!!!!   I LOVE TIM REMINGTON WITH ALL MY HEART AND I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM BUT I COULD GO A FEW DAYS OR EVEN MONTHS NOT SEEING HIM BUT THIS IS JUST INSANE.  I HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO A PERSON THAT I SIT AROUND AND SAY I CAN MANAGE IT BUT  I CAN’T I WANT SOMEONE TO FIND OUT HOW I CAN TALK TO MY BOY.  I MISS TIMMY SO MUCH IT IS JUST GOING TO COME OUT SO CRAZY WHEN IT GETS BUILT UP HOW CAN I NOT KNOW HIS TWO AND EVEN A THIRD CHILD FOR 2 FUCKING 2 FUCKING YEARS I HAVN’T SEEN TIMMY(2) OR JAYLEE  ADORABLE CHILDREN AND IF ANYTHING HAS GONE WRONG WITH THOSE KIDS BECAUSE OF THE ABSENSE OF DAD.   I NEVER WANTED TO HURT HIM ? DID I COLD HAVE I HAVE WANTED TO HURT HIM RUN HIM AWAY.  GOD KNOWS I’D ACCEPTED I HAD BEEN BURNED BEFORE BUT I NEVER TOUCHED HIM AND EVEN AT THAT AS HE WAS OLDER I COULD RARELY CONSIDER IT AND IN TRUTH VERY FEW LITTLE CHANGES WOULD HAVE BEEN NEEDED BUT HE LOVED ME DEEPLY LEGITIMATELY  IF THERE WERE QUESTIONS I THINK I WOULD HAVE KNOWN .  I MEAN IF HE WANTED  ME SEXUALLY HE CAN’T BLAME THAT ON ME .  I HAVEN’T SEEN TIMMY IN YEARS   YEARS.  HOW THE HELL COULD HE AND I LOSE THAT MUCH TIME TOGETHER???”?? LOOK HE SPENT ALL HIS FREE TIME WITH ME HE WAS BARELY HAVING TIME TO HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE HE WAS SO MAD AT ME BUT HELL HE SHOWED NO INTEREST IN GIRLS NONE OF REAL SUSTAINA BLE BELIEF THAT I CAN PUT OUT MY HAND AND SAY THIS GIRL CHEWED TIMMY UP PISSED HIM OUT AND HURT HIM I CAN’T SAYHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ACTOR AND A GOOD ONE THE ONLY REAL INTIMATE GIRL RELATIONSHIP HE HAS HAD OF ANY REAL CONSEQUENSE WAS TOTALLY SEXLESS.  THE TROPHY GIRLS. IF YOUR TOP DOG WITH THE DUDES YOU CAN GET A LOWER RANKING TRIBAL REALATION (MALE) TO TEND TO YOUR SEXUAL NEEDS OUT OF JUST SHEER HONOR.  HIS FRIEND WORLD TO SUCK OFF TIMMY WOULD BE AN HONOR .  HE WOULD BE THE PRIMAL NXT IN LINE BECAUSE FIRST HE HAD THE KNOWLEDGE THAT TIM WAS GETTING SERVICED BY RYAN NOT TYNA HE HAD NO REASON TO OPEN HIS MOUTH CAUSE IF HE SAID A WORD TIM WOULD BEAT HIM UP.  BUT IF HE SAID NOTHING HE COULD GO ON HAVING THAT PRIME ALPHA MALE CLOSEST THING TO A STRAIGHT GUY EXCEPT THIS ALPHA MALE WILL KINDA BREAK YOUR HEART  I WOULD SAY HE BROKE A LOT OF HEARTS. THEY WORSHIPED HIM WELL EVEN THEN THEY MAY HAVE BEENS STRAIGHT BUT TIMMY TURNED’EM OUT ONCE THEY WERE GETTING A PIECE OF THAT SHLONG THEY SAY EVERYTHING DIFFERENTLY.  NOW I STILL SAY IN ALL POSSIBILITY  I COULD BE WRONG.   BUT JESUS HOW COULD HE HAVE KNOWN WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID I KNOW I MESSED THINGS AND I WAS WILLING TO TAKE MY KNOCKS IF OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS TARNISHED IIN PURITY GOD!!!! YEAH  HE SHOWED ME !  WHEN I GET THEIR HYSTERIA  BLOOMS OUT ON THE LAST DAY  ALL OF OUR LOVE HE JUST CHOKED IT AND KILLED IT.   5 HOURS OF VITUPERATIVE HELL HE WANTED ME TO FINALLY SEE WHAT REAL PAIN WAS LIKE OH YEAH I WAS GOING TO SEE WHAT IT WAS LIKE.  I REVEALED SECRETS NOT ABOUT HIM (THAT’S BULLSHIT) ABOUT ME I WAS THE SINNER  ME ME!!  AND NOT SO MUCH THAT HE CAME OUT LOOKING LIKE A INNOCENTE  HE WAS MORE INNOCENT THE DAY THOSE THINGS WERE SURFACED THAN ANY DAY.  I FOUND OUR WHAT THE RUMORS WERE WITHEVERY BODY IN THE FAMILY AND YOU CAN SEE HOW COULD IT NOT BE GOOD TO CLEAR ME EVERY BODY NEW I WAS SO THE ASSUMTION WAS EASIER TO TAKE THAN NOTHING WAS GOING ON AT ALL EVER.  THERE HAD TO BE SOMETHING OR HE WOULD SEEM COMPLICIT.  THE ONLY REASON I GOT CONFUSED WAS BECAUSE I GOT TO BELIEVING THAT I WAS THE ONE BEING BLIND.   IT WAS SAID THAT WE WERE “UNUSUALLY CLOSE FOR A STEPSON AND STEPDAD RELATIONSHIP” PEOPLE COULD SEE ALL KINDS OF LOOKS BETWEEN US.   MY DEFERING TO HIM BABYING HIM… GIVING HIM PILES OF MONEY. HELL YEAH I WANTED HIM AND ONLY HIM. BUT THAT WASIN’T HIS FAULT SO I HAVE MYSELF VIRTUALLY APPEAR TO BE A CHILD MOLESTER TO THE ENTIRE FAMILY YET HE THINKS THIS MAKES HIM??? HIM?? LOOK BAD??  I SING HIS PRAISES FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLSHIT TO MAKE IT ALL MORE REAL.  ABOUT HOW MATURE HE WAS.  HOW LOYAL TO ME HE WAS HOW UNPREJUDICED HE WAS HE HELD ME UP WHEN I WAS DOWN WHEN SUPPOSEDLY WHAT MADE HIM SICK TO RETCHED DEATH WAS MY POSSIBLE SEXUAL ATTRACTIONS TO HIM.  SO I THOUGHT HE WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO SEE THIS WHOLE THING MADE FRESH.   HIM GENEROUSAND UNDERSTANDING BEYOND HIS YEARS.  UNWAVERING LOVE FOR ME SUCH THAT EVEN THOUGH I HAD FELT THAT WAY HE COULD LOOK THE OTHER WAY AND DIDN’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT.  HE TOOK HITS ON MY BEHALF SUPPOSEDLY SUFFERING RIDUCULE AND TALK EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE CULPRIT.  THE PROBLEM WAS I WAS TOO STUPID TO JUST CAN THE BS IGNORE KEVIN AND ANYBODY ELSEA!! ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE LYING TO ME AND I BELIEVED THEM ONCE EVER OR AT ALL.  AND I KNEW FELL INTO MY ARMS WHEN HE SAW ME AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS HE WAS BY MY SIDE AS MUCH AS HE COULD BE EVEN INVENTING ODD MARITAL PROBLEMS AND HIS NEED TO GET AWAY FROM JIN JINS SMOTHERING NATURE AND HER UNWILLINGNESS TO SHARE HIS EXUBERANCE FOR SEX …. FRIGID…. WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO??? HELL AT THE TIME IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME JUST GIVE IT SOME TIME.   I HAD NO TIME.  TIME WITH TIMMY HURT BECAUSE WHEN HE WAS GONE SO WAS MY WHOLE WORLD. BEING FREE OF HIM WAS A MIRACLE  AND I HAD MANAGED TO DISTANCE MYSELF FROM HIM AND HE WAS BACK.  HELL I WAS SO SO INTO LETTING HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE SEE THAT I COULD DO WITH OUT HIM. THAT I THINK I DESTROYED HIS WORLD  HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT IF I WAS TO TAKE EVERYTHING LITTERALLY THAT THE TRUTH WAS THERE FOR ME HE WAS READY TO MAKE IT BACK HE MANIPULATED KEVIN AND FINALLY MANAGED TO BE SO BAZARRE IN HIS BEHAVIOR ABOUT COMING DOWN THAT KEVIN THINKS HE HAS A LITTLE MENTAL PROBLEM FROM DRUGS.  FINALLY THOUGH WITH NO GUARANTEE FROM TIMMY HE ASKES ME TO COME WHICH SENDS TIMMY TO KEVINS IN MISSOURI ACTING LIKE “DANG IT WHAT’S THAT BASTARD DOING UP HERE” AND HE ONLY RELENTS AND SHOWS WHEN HE MADE HIS WAY DOWN THERE IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A MISTAKE.  HE IS CERTAIN HE WILL WIN ME AND EASILY TO WORK WITH HIM AND DUMP KEVIN BUT I COULD NEVER FIGURE OUT HIS MOTIVE.  SEE KEVIN WAS THE BOSS OR BUSINESS PERSON THAT I WAS GOING IN PARTNERSHIP WITH BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO STOKE THE BUSINESSI WASN’T GOING TO FUCK KEVIN OVER.    SO WHEN I ACCIDENTLY HIT ON A STRANGE ATTEMPT AT UNDERSTANDING HISTORY AND SAY I KNOW I HAVE TO ACCEPT THE PUNISHMENT.  HE TOOK ME AT MY WORD AND NEVER COULD LET UP FROM THE RAGE. I WANTED TO COME OUT THERE AND LIVE WITH HIM.  BUT NO GIN GIN IS PREGNANT.  THERE WILL BE  STRIFE. AND HE KNOWS THIS BEFORE HE SMASHES MY WORLD.  I IMAGINED EVERYTHING BUT TOOK HIM AT HIS WORD.  BUT THE REALITY WAS A BACKFIRE JEALOUSY ANGER RAGE.  SO NO NOW I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT UNF;INISHED BUSNESS WE HAVE.  BUT I KNOW HE FEELS IT MORE DEEPLY THAN I DID CAUSE I WOULD HAVE MOVED THE WORLD TO GET TIMMY TO SEE ME IN FAVOR A GAIN!! AND HE JUST COULDN’T DO IT.   SO MUCH INSTABILITY I WASN’T THERE FOR HIM;….I PLANNED TO GO IN AGAINST HIM WITH KEVIN YEAH BECAUSE I HADN’T SPOKEN TO TIMMY AND I WANT’D TO BE AROUND FAMILY AND TIMMY ALWAYS COULD GET ME TO FAVOR HIS IDEAS HIS PLANS BUT I HAD PROMISED OTHER THINGS TO KEVIN LEGIT NO SUBTERFUGE HIS ARRIVAL WAS ALWAYS TO STRANGE TO EVERYONE.  IT HAS TO BE FIXED!!! I HAVE TO MEND IT ALL      I NEVER BORE HIM ILL WILL BUT I WAS MORAL TOO.  I NEVER NEW HOW SENSITIVE HE WAS. HE WAS READING MORE SUBTLETY THAN I IMAGINED HE WAS CAPAPBLE OF……WHAT HE CLAIMED I HAD DONE JUST NEVER ADDED UP THE ONLYTHING HE COULD HAVE REALLY BEEN MAD ABOUT WAS THAT I WASN’T GIVING UP MY LIFE FOR HIM.  THERE WAS A TIME I WOULD HAVE.  BUT NOT ON A LARK.   JUST COME BY IN A CHEVEL AND YOUR SHIT COLLECTED AND SAY IT’S A YOU AND ME WORLD AND I FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE.

TRUCK

2006-02-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, It seems my truck is now gone! Sold it for $14,000.00 a few days ago. So that is all past now. for another issue .... I have lost my wallet on the very day I happen to have more money in it than any other day since getting perdiem money from Key Audiometric. I had approx. 235- 250.00 $ in there. But, what is really a bigger pain in the butt is the fact that now I have no driver's license on my person nor social security card. Oh all for the better possibly I would prefer not to exist. Well, not officially anyway.

CHEMICAL INDUCED REVELATION AND COMFORT

2006-02-18T14:29:00.000-08:00

2006-02-15T14:21:00.000-08:00

Heck yes YES . this would be a great Idea... read the below web click from a group I have on YAHOO that suggests we all BOW OUT of the "Consumer Ethic". We no longer have a work ethic or a honesty to self and others that ignores the need to buy as a cover to knowing others and ourselves better. LETS JOIN THE COMPACT buy only food health and safety essentials NO need for new close to have the best and newest to make us better. We are already better as Who We Are!!!

Yahoo! Mail - pepcin77@yahoo.com

2006-02-15T14:20:00.000-08:00

http://us.f330.mail.yahoo.com/ym/ShowLetter?MsgId=5626_11430177_5093806_2812_5522_0_9778_18316_2518859332&Idx=0&YY=91883&inc=25&order=down&sort=date&pos=0&view=a&head=b&box=Inbox

Home and neighborhood of Alexander (Sasha) Chislenko

2006-02-13T07:56:00.000-08:00

Home and neighborhood of Alexander (Sasha) Chislenko This is a very interesting website and it says so. Go and find many a thing although the format appears ancient as net standards go. But I haven't gone over it all and it may be a retro point involved there in somehow. So, Enjoy.

I will be externalizing other sites which I am interested in these days. These days I am fascinated by psychedelic substances. I have been greatly inspired by the more than unbelievable book by Alexander Shulgin and Ann Shulgin (his wife) PHIKAL and another book 2 of it + 1 other book called TIKAL. These letters stand for Phenethlyamines I Have Known and Loved; and Tryptamines I Have Known and Loved. If further explantion is necessary you probably don't want to know much more or it will mean enough to you to look up what you already think these long words mean. Be warned much of the book is dedicated to discussion of structural chemistry of which I have some philosophical critisisms along the lines of Andrew Weil's but not quite as far as Andrew extends his. In any case be prepared if you read this blog, which stats show very few people do, for an extended list of entheogen sites and references to many more sites with relevance to thereto. As well as my inexplicable angst concerning my stepson Timmy's being in jail. In Gods Name why can't I cut the links to his psyche???? God knows I want to but it appears genuinely impossible.

new one here is the picture

2006-01-14T13:09:00.001-08:00

CHEVY SILVERADO 2004

2006-01-14T13:09:00.000-08:00

(image placeholder)

CHEVY SILVERADO, 2004 !! 1

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,

2005-12-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,: "
Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson
Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate.
Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and
great effort pushing boulders into a single word.

It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions (no Latin
equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the press and embarrass
both Parliament and Party.

It stands today, a monument to human spirit. If life exists on other
planets, this may be the first message received from us.
- The Realist, November, "

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,

2005-12-29T19:53:00.000-08:00

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,: "Once, when the secrets of science were the jealously guarded
property of a small priesthood, the common man had no hope of mastering
their arcane complexities. Years of study in musty classrooms were
prerequisite to obtaining even a dim, incoherent knowledge of science.
Today all that has changed: a dim, incoherent knowledge of science
is available to anyone.
- Tom Weller, 'Science Made Stupid'"

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,

2005-12-29T19:44:00.000-08:00

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,: "--
[...in response to being told I was 'gay by choice']
Yes, I made the choice to become a member of the world's most unpopular
minority... I LOVE having my rights denied and getting yelled at and threatened
with bodily harm by strangers! A person no more 'chooses' to be gay then they
choose whether to be right or left handed. The only choice is between a
closeted life of denial and fear, or the strength that comes from telling the
truth. - Anonymous"

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,

2005-12-29T18:17:00.000-08:00

And when he sees me in all, and all in me,: "Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show.

Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians"

diss.sense, Manuel DeLanda - Deleuze and the Open-Ended Becoming of the World

2005-12-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

diss.sense, Manuel DeLanda - Deleuze and the Open-Ended Becoming of the World

deadsalive

2005-12-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

for="title">Title: URL:

EFF: Banners

2005-12-20T09:46:00.000-08:00

Title:
URL:

2005-12-18T21:24:00.000-08:00

Google

2005-12-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

Google

blogger in a snap

2005-11-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

blogger in a snap

2005-11-15T11:26:00.000-08:00

This is my FLICKR badge of RECENT AND past TIMES

2005-11-12T10:58:00.000-08:00

www.flickr.com

This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from jockslapper. Make your own badge here.

HERE A FLICKR BADGE OF RECENT TIMES AND PAST TIMES

2005-11-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

www.%20style="flickr.com
zg_insert_badge();

ABC News: Microlending at Crossroads After 20 Years

2005-05-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

ABC News: Microlending at Crossroads After 20 Years

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner - William Morrow, 2005

2005-05-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner - William Morrow, 2005alt.drugs
---------

A document listing a plethora of net.resources may be found at:

http://www.freakonomics.com

Other World Wide Web and other Net sites are:

[an "entheogen" group]

[U.N. Drug Control Program]
[another "entheogen" group]

[the U.S. DEA]
[Owsley Stanley's artwork]

Celibate SEXUALITY and The Beautiful Mind

2005-04-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

Celibate SEXUALITY and The Beautiful Mind

2005-04-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

this has been done I think .... I meant to send this to "CELEBATEMIND" hee hee hee...

2005-04-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

Seeing the Human Race naked at a young age prevents incests among its members. This is why it is best for a large group of us to remain absent from the human race at a young age. This way ordinary procreative sex will take place. It is then best we not see all of us as one big happy family lest we depopulate and become extinct..... you know, that's not a bad idea.

2005-04-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

If this is duplicated it is not a polarity of pictures but I can still leave it as an example of redundancy. (which is should be avoided in the conscious mind as "self" as much as possible)

this should be my latest post but it seems to have gone.

2005-04-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Here is where it was. Also my profile should go to the side over there not at the end hope. I can change this soon.

Cannot find server

2005-04-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Cannot find server Many may find this a peculiar title for this website, however, it is more than it appears. It is a doorway to Swans..... an inocuous sounding website that generally blasts away at current culture Americana and Politica Americana via stories, myth, metaphor and various forms of literary types, From the outright obvious to the satirical, ironic, sardonic, sarcastic, pontificatious, poetic, cartoon, ...... well just about any form of transmission of human (or extraterrestrial to those who don't understand it.) To provide platform and scaffold for predication of analysis of our Modern Morass of Inhumanity to Man and our amazingly Zombified and Anesthetized reactions to it all, As it all goes on before our very eyes in the most blatant , In Your Face manner that the super powerful, ruthlessly tear to pieces before our very eyes all things sacred. Meanwhile the lazy and corrupted now power owned and infiltrated press pull off smoke screens, and sleight of hand tricks so poorly done that a 5 year old could see past it. But...... We ..Be .......Zombies........I have a SUV. Wanna See it?? Just Click on Cannot find server. OK? you'll see.

WeatherBug Corporate Blog

2005-04-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

WeatherBug Corporate Blog

2005-04-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

MOM AND DAD DID HELP

2005-04-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

READY TO GO.....................

2005-04-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

EXCEPTIONALLY nice azaleas in my well landscaped garden applied last year sometime.

2005-04-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

Self. After a clean bill of health from the doctor for my meds and .....DRUM ROLL HERE.........I CAN WORK !!!!!

2005-04-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

Mom and dad Around April 2005. Older but sweeter

2005-04-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

Dad's Birthday March 7th

Late, But Timely...:

2005-04-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, though many do not read it is nice to have an occacional marker to refer to that is ordered to some extent for my own use. I did think at one time due to the intellectual content of much of my scribbles, that nerds and metaphysicists of all sorts would come bounding out of there cubicals giving me feedback at least occasionally enough to add more compunction to my punctuality and consistency. Nevertheless, It's not like I expected to be a big blog hit with offers to serialize and commercialize my site. I don't have that much talent or computer knowledge to make my site visually appealing nor am I politically provocative. Not because I am insane but more likely because my views are to arcane or diverse as well as extradisciplinary, and not one minded. I knew I wouldn't be a Wonkette or Instapundit, but occasional comments I thought might come my way by browsers looking for someone who could write about a variety of topics might buy me 2 or 3 regular readers a week. Not too high an aim. Didn't happen. Comments I have had were from illiterates and one or two passerbys for a total of maybe 4 in approximately 8 months. I started posting more than a post a day and then sometimes very long ones a week or so apart. Now it has ground to about a once a month whim. I am planning to start back as I have been doing an enormous amount of writing in my journal. I have written close to 100 pages on small ruled notebook paper in about 3 months, much of it in 5 to 10 page segments in irregular time frames. But productivity and value have for me been much improved. Somehow I think I can't write my most serious growth in the blog for fear of losing it. I need to find a way to download this thing I guess. Maybe I should just print it all out as I write on here so I can feel no dread of impermenancy that could be clogging my creative spouts. I will print this one out and see if that can't happen. It is certain that my note book has no photos or drawings yet. But much of my older writing is obviously immature although I have saved a lot of art with it. More of my saved writing has been sorted as well, and neither does it contain any of the breezy daily dialoges of the type I have through out my blog that reads so tacky in places. It's not that I don't mean much of whatI have written in my blogs so much as my manner of expression seems to conceal a more ruminating broodish attitude that I did not intend to reflect. Yet Boo!! There it is. Is it my uncounscious spilling through? I don't know how. Because what is reflected when I write I think is only a state of mind that comes adrift in consequence with moments that writing is paired up with states of mind of the sort I maybe did not recognize as being a commonality with the push to write. Similarly at this moment I am in a state of economic desertification caused much by my own attitude of narcisistic neglect for my own whims to be delimited by uninteresting work with low pay combined with health problems that employers seem to force you to reveal to the point of telling the story of your life. It is a slow process where one answer or revelation unearths more questions furthering more curiosity to the point of what I simply consider unethical. Similarly lack of interest in the job I had been doing, although the pay is good by other standards in this meager economic state called Arkansas, To continue with out interest is also unethical. Many in that field find that to be no impediment. I do not think a person can do work as a Nursing Assistant without a strong moral imperative and the ability to maintain it with emotive conviction. Thus many are in the hands of the disinterested, dispassionant, pretenders who shortcut their work for a cigarette break or just more free time to gossip about who's fucking who, and probing for info to see who they can backstab to get over on. Likewise they are also ( many of them ) Highschool drop outs. Low class people have found a way to make a bigger buck by doing a job many wouldn't or couldn't do for reasons already described by virtue of paltry home training brought about in some occasions by poverty of parents or grandparents where by the have been forced to care for a family member that is disabled in some form brought about by neglect, drug abuse, child abuse, alcholism, cigarette smoking, malnutrition and a poverty of education that could serve to dislodge them from certain inherent non-nutritive lifestyle spirals that remain entrenched due to policies invite learned helplessness. Add to this the number of families battling to stay afloat economically in a country of increasing upper class wealth and cynical leaders having no vision for any change for the better by any avenue of the multiple potential streaming of the information flood where by novelty is a natural emergent phenomena preached by the pantheon doctrinare of the world bank and all evolutionary sociologist new age pundits. This is not what is happening. Yet if we stay the course gold is at the end of the rainbow. In the mean time, Mom and Dad Work 50 hr. weeks their children see them only when they are spent, tired, and irritable. Only to be blessed by layoffs, retraining for another thankless job where they again will not be valued after 10 years of loyalty. They may find pension funds shrunken, packages for early retirement to trim the fat and eventually move operations to indonesia. We constantly fighting cell phone fraud propagators in which we are tied by contract with no binding arbitration clauses. If not them It's spam, ID theft, or misfiled, misbilled, Bill collectors for the wrong person with the same name.

See the bitterness in my vitriole. well. I can't work. Bills are piling up. Mom and Dad are not gonna be a pliable as when I paid them back via loans they have carried between 4 and 28 thousand dollars for 16 years. Since at the present they see my health problems to threaten my ability to find gainful employment Bankruptcy may be my only choice. In rolls the dark clouds of indeterminancy.

Who might believe that actually I stay mainly happy through all of it! Truth is life is but a long class in every subject and I like to learn even now. Wish I could go back to school and get a Masters and Doctorate. Keep striving to learn and you will soon notice you are a miracle and when the natural becomes Miraculous....! you know who you are. and you know that you know little, but it matters only that you keep learning marvels to come... you then invite it.... all of it.

2005-03-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

my Dad on his Birthday ready to open package and eat cake.

ABORTION FOR BACON AND DECARTE!!!!!!

2005-03-05T10:25:00.000-08:00

Me thinks that in the days of old around the 1500 to 1600 a couple of well knowns in the formation of modern epistemology and thought, should best have been aborted such that the future could have taken a different tact. I refer here to the two overly rated and much revered Francis Bacon and Rene Decarte. Ms. Decarte helped us to find our selves with the supposition that we did not know where we were, or even if we existed for that matter.... (What irony). He did ultimately have his "eureka" Moment where he discovered cogito ergo sum Satisfied that because he thought he must exist. Although wholey original in thought for it's time....., the idea is just another ideosycracy of the the human faculties limitation with regard to the sensibilities of time and space. But it was, Oh..so trendy an idea and oh so satifying to the budding ego of the era of the Renaissance And hence wholey sensible to my idea of abortion for he and his previously "Reborn" coetaneous cohort Francis Bacon. Where as Decarte only discovered he existed (in a rather fatuous way) and where we and he were and could be found as if we needed to be.... Francis Bacon did a lot of arm chair psychobable of his own. He wasn't a scientist. He did no pioneering research or work for that matter in any field whatsoever that we know of. He was spoken of by his peers as to not have even had a proper grasp of the methods of scientific investigation of his own time,...Yet he had the gall to to pride himself in being the archetect of a revolutionary advance in the scientific method. (Popper had quite a bit to comment about in this area). Nevertheless these two were born and for some reason whether aptly accoladed or not, are thought to bear the sumptuous gift of reason and progress,.... and having brought man from a place along side other creatures in nature to a grand pedestal of importance and,.... the ontologically understood gradiosity of a being whose birthright (pun intended) was to go about building and progressing for the bettering and further enriching of mankind to whit.... with such a bulwork of "Steam Load Ahead", that, all the rest of creation be left to wither, if necessary in the process!! "All Else Be Damned for The Furtherance of Man." This could well have been there theme and Motto.

Allowing that history does have a tendency to get somewhat distorted; and, being that historians are persistently (via such is the ontology apriori.)looking for causes, and sources of ideas, firsts, and lasts, orders, and heirarchies. It is certainly possible that their roll might be very minimal in the foothold of such ideological changes in the evolution of thought in all of man and woman kind. For they must have had mothers no doubt, and it has been the nature of man for time in memorial to look to the parents as having a roll in the outcome and notieriety of their progeny.

All that having been said in finality there is not much to be said for the quest for a time travel to have the aformentioned men aborted. After all the quest to do it would be in the interest, enrichment, and betterment of all mankind. thus, even my own thoughts are infected by this ideological meme.

Such so, that now all aims of the betterment of mankind seem somehow to lie at the feet of this ontology of thought, Apriori, it is said, via the writings and thoughs of Bacon and Descarte. Around the circle I have traveled,.. yet have I found my self or the origin of my thought... is it really me? such that cogito ergo sum .?... and such an odd idea; for it has no place in Bacon's Revolution of the Scientific Method. For it has very little validation as a possible hypothesis and virtually no means of testing it with out predjudice. Variables cannot be isolated and the logic is circular.

But if Decarte be the culprit, what has been reeped in the long run is the triumph of Ego in man, and this if any theory of history hold true, the human race and civilization as we know it must undergo radical ideological change of some sort, back or forth, a new something or old; but a replacement of this mentality of separate self, least greed, and the disolution of the whole of civilization in a war of brands and corporations and a new genocide to come..... even as to this very day mankind thinks he has progressed so far. Today however millions die in war, starvation, disease and slavery. So in what nation do we erect our monument to acheivement? Rawanda? Sudan? Afghanistan? North Korea? The western coasts of Malaysia and the eastern of Sri Lanka and India? Maybe the outlands of Siberia? The Economies of South America Stolen and enslaved to the International Monetary Fund?? Maybe we Should build that symbol of progress where it once in reality stood on those acres of the TWIN TOWERS OF TRADE in New York. We must return to a time where we lose the SELF of MAYA and Live From the Self OF the great Unmanifested, THE self of the WHOLE, of all of man in unity, as he really is... but cannot see because of the illusion created from the misperception out of the sensibilities of time and space. Where Material is Preiminent. The Empirical the God of this Particular Scientific Revolution and it's structure (Thomas Khun)

Where do we go now ? Where do we go now? Stand in the place that you are>>>> lyrics you might recognize (two). adios for now

Deadsalive....just try to give something to someone for no reason and especially someone who doesn't deserve it!!!! That is
GRACE ....The giving of unmerited favor (the Bible) In so doing, you see the other in yourself, and yourself in the other, and if you have the thirst for knowing the truth, you can know this is reality, and it will set you free!! bye bye!

where's my new profile?

2005-02-24T14:44:00.000-08:00

I worked so hard to fit in just under the 1200 characters limit and now it appears to be the same as it always was. I'll try a new post to see how or if it changes things. weird place this blogspot!

2005-02-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

me again posed

2005-02-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

Me at my best and real

2005-02-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

mom and auntie Betty

2005-02-24T06:29:00.001-08:00

glass below

2005-02-24T06:29:00.000-08:00

previous mom

2005-02-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

hello self of selves

2005-02-24T06:25:00.000-08:00

mom

2005-02-23T19:43:00.000-08:00

sent to god

2005-02-23T19:21:00.000-08:00

Luther properly hygenically cleaned

Partical Import and Terror of Dawn

2005-02-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

But, at what point are we terrorized?
At what point confused?
Emotions....? From what pool do they emerge?
And what currents move those waters?
Is it possible to drown therein? What blaze of Sun upon the open spaces enlightens the soul, but simultaneously and Now most certainly Scientifically supports the sustenance of our very existence.. through the myriad and countless pathways of chemical bonding and unbonding.
For all to flourish the earth must be selectively struck by an infinite range of electromagnetic waves and particles. IT DOES not really matter what we call them. They act as they act, be they particles or waves. They display the properties of both. And I cry and I laugh.

OUTLAW BURN MY NAME BURN MY NUMBER GIVE A CHANCE TO SWEEP IT UNDER !

2005-02-15T12:37:00.001-08:00

OUTLAW BURN MY NAME BURN MY NUMBER GIVE A CHANCE TO SWEEP IT UNDER !

2005-02-15T12:37:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't watch television it is too upseting;... It reminds me that my past no matter how mundane or minor ( credit problems... an arrest record (no prosecution) bad back, narcolepsy) I will never find a job in the mainstream working for anyone else ever make a living. My last chance was my last job... they downsized; I was gone and I have never come back to anything near what I made then or before nor do I expect to in this techno wonder and techno incest. It provides that I talk across the globe with ease yet provides the information that allows me to become a statistic in these databases with no end. I have to make a new me out of me and work for myself and sell what I do have to provide to whoever wants what I have. I am going to write. Soon I will put some of my put away "shorts" on the web and then see where they go...........>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>